Sabaki (lead poet) - Linda Papanicolaou
TRIPARSHVA RENKU - Post 17 SABAKI: L I N D A P A P A N I C O L A O U
POST: Choice of verse 21 & Call for AGEKU - the last verse!!
22nd JULY 2022
CHOICE OF VERSE 21
In strictly traditional Japanese renku, the season that closes the Kyu is spring, and the penultimate verse is the “blossom seat,” featuring cherry blossom as a signifier of transient beauty. In modern renku practice, other spring-fruiting trees such as plum, apple or hawthorn may be acceptable. In short renku forms such as junicho or shisan, the Kyu may conclude with a season other than spring and the penultimate verse may be a flower kigo appropriate to that season. Having read about the climate zones in which cherry or the other fruit trees are grown, I was not certain that a traditional blossom verse will be resonant for much of the subcontinent, so, called for either blossom or a flower verse, recommending the spring plants list on the Subcontinent Saijiki (https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/saijiki-spring-basant)--particularly magnolia or palaash, as these are trees and may approximate a traditional blossom verse.
The offers that came in included these two, plus a dazzling array of blossoms of orange, elderberry, jasmine, apple, daisy, saffron crocus, rose, orchid, bougainvillea, kopu, and champa. It has occurred to me that going forward with renku activities here at Triveni, the spring and blossom verses may be one of the important places that international renku for the Subcontinent may have to find its own way to the authenticity of experience and meaning. However wide a range of climate zones may be found in India, they are still quite different from the temperate region for which the saijiki was designed. One issue is that species such as rose or magnolia bloom earlier and maybe spring kigo rather than summer as in the traditional saijiki. This isn’t just a matter of botanical accuracy—it means that the difference in season brings in different coded meanings.
In an essay on seasons in renku, William J. Higginson wrote, “The point of the blossom verse often hinges on the special light one enjoys walking or sitting under such trees, which is characteristic of spring” (Renku Home, http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/kasen/seasons-in-a-kasen.html). Additionally, in a call for blossom verse in the Renku sessions at The Haiku Foundation, John Stevenson directed, “The blossom image should be the central focus of the verse rather than a prop for some other image. . .” (https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-a-better-look-week-18/).
I bore this in mind in considering which verse to place in the renku, eventually deciding that an offer from Sanjukta would best preserve the traditional function of the blossom verse. It’s simple and lovely in how it amplifies the setting of “our small garden” with a bamboo fence and magnolias to attract those buzzing bees. I don’t know about you, but when I read it, I feel as if I am there.
sounds of giggles eyed
the ventriloquist voice
on the Panchatantra / Lakshmi Iyer
our small garden abuzz
with the day’s anecdotes / Mona Bedi
a bamboo fence
lost
in the magnolia haze / Sanjukta Asopa
CALL FOR VERSE 22—Ageku:
This is the verse that will conclude our renku. Together with the three opening verses Hokku, Wakiku, and Daisan, it brackets the renku and provides closure. John E. Carley characterized it as "not just an ending but also the fulfilment of anticipation. . .” (New Zealand Poetry Society, https://poetrysociety.org.nz/affiliates/haiku-nz/haiku-poems-articles/archived-articles/introduction-to-renku/).
The requirements are
2 lines, place (non-person)
Spring season
Link to the previous verse, shift away from the leap over verse:
our small garden abuzz
with the day’s anecdotes
a bamboo fence
lost
in the magnolia haze
Before you post, do a bit of self-critique. Have you checked (as best you can) that your verse follows the required criteria? How does it link to the previous verse? How does it shift away from the leap-over verse? What new topics or things does it introduce to the renku?
INSTRUCTIONS FOR SUBMITTING
Each participant may offer two submissions, posted together in the same comment, with your name as you would like it to appear in the renku. Instructions for submitting remain as last time.
The deadline is 48 hours from now. We follow Indian Standard Time (IST). This POST will go up on 22 July at 6 A.M. So on 24 July at 6 A.M, the window closes (IST). All AGEKU verse offers must be posted on this thread BEFORE 6 A.M on 24th July.
THE RENKU SO FAR
1. Jo
house warming …
all the flavours of summer
on a dining table / Firdaus Parvi
a dozen ripened mangoes
from the neighbour next door / Kala Ramesh
the gleeful shouts
of street kids rolling
a bicycle tyre / Priti Aisola
an airplane through the clouds
in an indigo twilight / Margherita Petriccione
so close
the snow moon
envelops the field / Angiola Inglese
crackling silence as we bend
over the chess board / Sushama Kapur
2. Ha
caparisoned elephants
raising their trumpets amid
the village prayer beats / Lakshmi Iyer
a pied crested cuckoo
on a telephone wire / Marcie Wessels
after the downpour
she squeezes our clothes
under the banyan tree / Milan Rajkumar
a backlit craving races
into an embrace / Kavita Ratna
those dreams
of my first love
once again / Arvinder Kaur
the merry go round horse
stopped on a high note / Robert Kingston
a crick
in the neck
after Sistine Chapel / Sanjukta Asopa
shadows lengthen
into this new bite in the air / Sushama Kapur
moonbeams dipping
into a storm drain and a stream
with the same alacrity / Priti Aisola
the whisper of falling leaves
rolls into a pyramid / Amrutha V. Prabhu
3. Kyu
trekking on Himalayas
when layers
of our false selves peel off / Kala Ramesh
the synchronized silhouettes
of planting rice in paradise / Kanjini Dev
sounds of giggles eyed
the ventriloquist voice
on the Panchatantra / Lakshmi Iyer
our small garden abuzz
with the day’s anecdotes / Mona Bedi
a bamboo fence
lost
in the magnolia haze / Sanjukta Asopa
THE SCHEMA: NOTE ADJUSTMENTS IN VERSES 8-12 OF HA
Side one - Jo
hokku summer
wakiku summer
daisan non season
4 ns
5. winter moon
6 ns
***
Side 2 - Ha
7 ns
8 monsoon
9 monsoon love
10 ns lv
11 ns lv
12. ns
13 ns
14 autumn
15 au moon
16 autumn
***
Side 3 - Kyu
17 ns
18 monsoon
19 ns
20 spring
21 sp blossom
ageku - sp - (we are here!!)
Links to our previous week: https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/copy-of-renku-linked-collaborative-verses-triparshva-15-16-call-for-17
*** **** ***** LINKS TO RESOURCES:
The schema for our triparshva: https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/renku-linked-collaborative-verses
URLs for online saijikis: https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/renku-linked-collaborative-verses-triparshva-4-1
Kondo and Higginson, “Link and Shift, A Practical Guide to Renku Composition”: http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/Link_Shift.html
Ferris Gilli, “English Grammar: Variety in Renku”: https://sites.google.com/site/worldhaikureview2/whr-archives/grammar-in-renku
Richard Gilbert’s “Muki Saijiki”: https://gendaihaiku.com/research/kigo/05-muki-saijiki-TOC.htm
*** *** *** *** Linda, Brilliant! Thank you so much. Gorgeous verse. Just too good, Sanjuktaa! _()_