Sabaki (lead poet) - Linda Papanicolaou
TRIPARSHVA RENKU - Post 15 SABAKI: L I N D A P A P A N I C O L A O U
POST: Choice of verse 18 & Call for verse 19
16th JULY 2022
CHOICE OF VERSE 18
This is the second occurrence of Monsoon in our renku. When a topic repeats, the task is to make it different—explore different aspects. To refresh our memories, here are verses 8 and 9, which were our two monsoon verses in the Ha:
a pied crested cuckoo
on a telephone wire
after the downpour
she squeezes our clothes
under the banyan tree
Their topic categories were animal and weather/ plant. When a topic or season repeats, the task is to make it different—explore different aspects. This would mean using kigo in the other categories of the saijiki. At this point in the renku, as we’re nearing the end, It can be our last chance to talk about some of these categories that we haven’t covered already.
For this reason, I am delighted to bring Kanjini on board with her wonderful depiction of rice planting:
the whisper of falling leaves
rolls into a pyramid / Amrutha V. Prabhu
trekking on Himalayas
when layers
of our false selves peel off / Kala Ramesh
the synchronized silhouettes
of planting rice in paradise / Kanjini Dev
In choosing rice planting as her kigo, Kanjini has given us the topic category of human occupations, which we have not had all in the renku until now. The way the verse links to Kala’s Himalayas Verse by transforming the rising pyramidal silhouettes of those mountains into the bending silhouettes of people planting a rice paddy figures is inspired. The synchronized movements of the workers and the rhyme in the second line suggest that they’re singing a work song to coordinate appointments. I can’t help but be reminded of Basho’s hokku about rice planting songs (https://breathhaiku.wordpress.com/tag/basho-rice-planting-haiku/).
Thank you very much, Kanjini, and to everyone who posted offers. We are one verse nearer to the finale of our renku.
CALL FOR VERSE 19
Verse 19 is the last non-seasonal verse in the Renku. The requirements are:
* 3 lines, non-seasonal
* person or place (your choice)
* As always link to the previous verse, and shift away from the leap over verse. Here they are again:
trekking on Himalayas
when layers
of our false selves peel off
the synchronized silhouettes
of planting rice in paradise
Before you post, do a bit of self-critique. Have you checked (as best you can) that your verse follows the required criteria? How does it link to the previous verse? How does it shift away from the leap-over verse? What new topics or things does it introduce to the renku?
INSTRUCTIONS FOR SUBMITTING
Each participant may offer two submissions, posted together in the same comment, with your name as you would like it to appear in the renku. Instructions for submitting remain as last time.
The deadline is 48 hours from now. We follow Indian Standard Time (IST). This POST will go up on 16 July at 6 A.M. So on 18 July at 6 A.M, the window closes (IST). All the 19th verse offers must be posted on this thread BEFORE 6 A.M on 18 July.
THE RENKU SO FAR
1. Jo
house warming …
all the flavours of summer
on a dining table / Firdaus Parvi
a dozen ripened mangoes
from the neighbour next door / Kala Ramesh
the gleeful shouts
of street kids rolling
a bicycle tyre / Priti Aisola
an airplane through the clouds
in an indigo twilight / Margherita Petriccione
so close
the snow moon
envelops the field / Angiola Inglese
crackling silence as we bend
over the chess board / Sushama Kapur
2. Ha
caparisoned elephants
raising their trumpets amid
the village prayer beats / Lakshmi Iyer
a pied crested cuckoo
on a telephone wire / Marcie Wessels
after the downpour
she squeezes our clothes
under the banyan tree / Milan Rajkumar
a backlit craving races
into an embrace / Kavita Ratna
those dreams
of my first love
once again / Arvinder Kaur
the merry go round horse
stopped on a high note / Robert Kingston
a crick
in the neck
after Sistine Chapel / Sanjukta Asopa
shadows lengthen
into this new bite in the air / Sushama Kapur
a crick
in the neck
after Sistine Chapel / Sanjukta Asopa
shadows lengthen
into this new bite in the air / Sushama Kapur
moonbeams dipping
into a storm drain and a stream
with the same alacrity / Priti Aisola
the whisper of falling leaves
rolls into a pyramid / Amrutha V. Prabhu
3. Kyu
trekking on Himalayas
when layers
of our false selves peel off / Kala Ramesh
the synchronized silhouettes
of planting rice in paradise / Kanjini Devi
THE SCHEMA: NOTE ADJUSTMENTS IN VERSES 8-12 OF HA
Side one - Jo
hokku summer
wakiku summer
daisan non season
4 ns
5. winter moon
6 ns
***
Side 2 - Ha
7 ns
8 monsoon
9 monsoon love
10 ns lv
11 ns lv
12. ns
13 ns
14 autumn
15 au moon
16 autumn
***
Side 3 - Kyu
17 ns
18 monsoon
19 ns (we are here!!)
20 spring
21 sp blossom
ageku - sp
Links to our previous week:
https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/copy-of-renku-linked-collaborative-verses-triparshva-15-16-call-for-17
*** **** ***** LINKS TO RESOURCES:
The schema for our triparshva: https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/renku-linked-collaborative-verses
URLs for online saijikis: https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/renku-linked-collaborative-verses-triparshva-4-1
Kondo and Higginson, “Link and Shift, A Practical Guide to Renku Composition”: http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/Link_Shift.html
Ferris Gilli, “English Grammar: Variety in Renku”: https://sites.google.com/site/worldhaikureview2/whr-archives/grammar-in-renku
Richard Gilbert’s “Muki Saijiki”: https://gendaihaiku.com/research/kigo/05-muki-saijiki-TOC.htm
*** *** *** *** Linda, Thanks once again for leading us so beautifully.
Congratulations, Kanjini! _()_