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thinkALONG! 5 December

Updated: Dec 7, 2023

A TUESDAY FEATURE

hosts: Muskaan Ahuja, Lakshmi Iyer

guest editor: Billie Dee


Please note:


Only the unpublished poems (that are never published on any social media platform/journals/anthologies) posted here for each prompt will be considered for Triveni Haikai India's monthly journal -- haikuKATHA, each month.


Poets are requested to post poems that adhere to the prompts/exercises given.


Only 1 poem to be posted in 24 hours. Total 2 poems per poet are allowed each week (numbered 1,2). So, revise your poems till 'words obey your call'.


If a poet wants feedback, then the poet must mention 'feedback welcome' below each poem that is being posted.


Responses are usually a mixture of grain and chaff. The poet has to be discerning about what to take for the final version of the poem or the unedited version will be picked up for the journal.


The final version should be on top of the original version for selection.


Poetry is a serious business. Give you best attempt to feature in haikuKATHA !!

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A Brief History of Bashō 's Karumi


One of the more difficult haikai concepts to grasp, karumi translates literally as “lightness.” This is not to be confused with the Western term “light verse,” such as greeting card rhymes or humorous quips. Instead, karumi is “light-hearted” and “light-handed,” avoiding heavy or flowery diction and imagery, while embracing the everyday speech and experience of common folk.

In the last years of his life, Matsuo Bashō worked obsessively to perfect a new style of poetic expression through the balance of two basic precepts: sabi and karumi.



come, butterfly it’s late— we’ve miles to go together


— Bashō (1644-1694) tr. Lucien Stryk



Bashō’s revisionist teachings greatly influenced future generations of haijin, particularly Kobayashi Issa. From its beginnings as a humble pejorative term, karumi comes to full fruition in poems such as:


goes out, comes back— the love life of a cat


—Issa (1763-1828) tr. Robert Hass


Here, karumi defines the difference between the subtle and the banal, the child-like and the childish.



Prompt: Share one of your treasured classical haikai and tell us how it inspires you to employ karumi in your own work. Learning to analyze poetry is one of the best techniques to improve your own writing. You may, of course, post two of your own karumi-based poems here.


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103 Kommentare


strange these clouds

they move every which way

fruit flies


Richard L. Matta

USA

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mona bedi
mona bedi
12. Dez. 2023

Post #1

12.12.23


warm night --

the twinkling conversations

of fireflies


Feedback appreciated:)

Mona Bedi

India

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Kalyani
Kalyani
11. Dez. 2023

11.12.23


#1

another search

for mom's half-knit cardigan

- transient winter


Feedback welcome

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lakshmi iyer
lakshmi iyer
09. Dez. 2023

#2, revised, 11/12


wading in moonlight

her child counts stars---

cloudless sky


Lakshmi Iyer, India


9/12, original


her child counts the stars,

whilst she wades in the sea light

high autumn sky


Lakshmi Iyer, India

feedback please

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lakshmi iyer
lakshmi iyer
24. Dez. 2023
Antwort an

Yes Billie, sorry for the late reply.

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a child on a sled

on the crest of a plow berm—

school snow day


Linda Papanicolaou, US

#2, 12/9/23

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lakshmi iyer
lakshmi iyer
09. Dez. 2023
Antwort an

Very subtle.

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