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Writer's pictureKala Ramesh

THE HAIBUN GALLERY: 28th Nov 2024 Prakash Thombre, artist.

hosts: Kala Ramesh & Firdaus Parvez

A Thursday Feature 28th November

Prakash Thombre

Ink sketch and write-up by Prakash Thombre, Pune.


Prakash Thombre says:


A wonderful poem I like of Mary Oliver from her book ‘A Thousand Mornings’.


I Have Decided


I have decided to find myself a home in the mountains, somewhere high up where one learns to live peacefully in the cold and the silence. 
It’s said that in such a place certain revelations may be discovered. 
That what the spirit reaches for may be eventually felt, if not exactly understood. 
Slowly, no doubt. I’m not talking about a vacation.


Of course, at the same time I mean to stay exactly where I am.


Are you following me?


- Mary Oliver


Challenge:


Enjoy the ink sketch by artist Prakash Thombre and then read what inspired him to draw this figure.


We would love to read your haibun inspired by this post.

Haibun outside this theme is also accepted :))

Have a whale of a time, while you are at it!



PLEASE NOTE:

1. Only two haibun per poet per prompt.

2. Share your best-polished pieces.

3. Please do not post something in a hurry or something you have just written.

    Let it simmer for a while.

4. Post your final edited version on top of your original verse.

5. Don't forget to give feedback on others' poems.


We are delighted to open the comment thread for you to share your unpublished haibun (within 300/250 words) to be considered for inclusion in haikuKATHA monthly journal.


Important: Since we're swamped with submissions, and our editors are only human, mistakes can happen. Please, please, remember to put your name, followed by your country, below each poem, even after revisions. It helps our editors; they won't have to type it in, saving them from potential typos. Thanks a ton!


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PLEASE NOTE:

1. Only two haibun per poet per prompt. Please put your name and country of residence under your poem, it makes the editors' work easier. Thanks.

2. Share your best-polished pieces.

3. Please do not post something in a hurry or something you have just written.

Let it simmer for a while.

4. When poets give suggestions and if you agree to them - post your final edited version on top of your original version.

5. Don't forget to give feedback on others' poems.


We are delighted to open the comment thread for you to share your unpublished haibun (within 300 words) to be considered for inclusion in the haikuKATHA monthly journal.

Tags:

213 views129 comments

129 Comments


#1

Off-prompt(written on last week's prompt:)


Revised thanks to Vidya:)


A question with no answer


I stare intently at my silhouette in the still pond, searching for a clue. I have, since birth, known this brown skin, these small hands, those thoughts that swirl. Yet, the reflection is murky. The shadow looking back at me has no defined borders— a gully with no ends, innumerable forks and potholed with fall-through questions. Undefined, with destination unknown. Where do we go from here?


cannot be cupped 

into my palms 

rippled moon


Namratha Varadharajan, India

Feedback welcome


---------------


Enigma


I stare intently at my silhouette in the still pond, searching for a clue. I have known this brown skin, these small hands, those…


Edited
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Replying to

Thank you for this detailed feedback, Vidya! This is really helpful. I learnt a lot. Will read up more on punctuations. Revising the prose.

Edited
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#1. The revelation


It wasn’t hard. The climb I mean. As a nature enthusiast, I have walked through dense forests, swum through meandering rivers, climbed mountains, bathed under gushing waterfalls to name a few activities I indulge in. So to come to this hermitage high up in the mountains wasn’t difficult at all. What was difficult was the thundering silence here. For that’s when I started hearing myself. I had no idea my mind was so voluble.City life made me heed everything and everyone but me. I never knew I needed to hear myself till I did. What a revelation that was!


in deafening silence

I hear myself

‘aham brahmasmi’


*Aham Brahmasmi is a term that is used in Hindu…


Edited
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Vidya Shankar
Vidya Shankar
4 days ago
Replying to

Dear Anjali, such a beautiful idea you have expressed in your haibun. However, there are some repetitions which require a lot of editing. Here are some suggestions for you to consider or leave:


You could begin your haibun with a haiku that talks about a noisy city and then go on to the prose where you describe the climb. Even the prose needs edits.


The revelation


(a haiku to show the noise of the city)


It wasn’t hard. The climb I mean. A nature enthusiast, I have walked through dense forests, swum through meandering rivers, climbed mountains, bathed under gushing waterfalls. So, to come to this hermitage high up in the mountains wasn’t difficult at all. What was difficult was…


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joanna ashwell
joanna ashwell
6 days ago

Is anyone else only available to like at the moment and not offer any comments?

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Florence Heyhoe
3 days ago
Replying to

this often happens to me

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#2 11/30/24


The Thing I Carry


There’s no doubt that I have something beyond this world inside me. It’s an emptiness in me, a lonely part of me, that haunts me when no one is around. I don’t even know how to describe the yawning canyon, but I know it’s there, that it’s become a part of me, stretching even as I fight it, even as I love with all my heart.  


at first 

it was delicious 

black hole 


susan burch, USA

Comments welcome

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joanna ashwell
joanna ashwell
4 days ago
Replying to

This is so powerful Susan. Mysterious and memorable.

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30/11/24 #2


Precipice


autumn wind—

a hawk’s shadow slips

between crags


Hooves press into loose gravel; the edge crumbles beneath me. Below, rivers braid through valleys, glinting like silk. The air tightens in my chest, metallic and cold. A wisp of cloud grazes my back, lighter than the ache in my legs. I pause, trembling—not from the climb, but the stillness.


mountain rain—

lichen’s slow bloom

on fractured stone


C.X. Turner, UK


(feedback welcome)

Edited
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joanna ashwell
joanna ashwell
4 days ago
Replying to

Your prose and ku are so rich in detail Luci. Poignant and wonderfully atmospheric.

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