Sabaki (lead poet) - Linda Papanicolaou
TRIPARSHVA RENKU - Post 14 SABAKI: L I N D A P A P A N I C O L A O U
POST: Choice of verse 17 & Call for verse 18
13th JULY 2022
CHOICE OF VERSE 17
With this verse, we are beginning the Kyu, the third and final side of our renku.”Kyu” Means “fast close,” and the nature of the verses we want in the section changes yet again. The topics of discussion are lighter, not edgy or complex, and avoid literary, political, or current events references that would take readers out of the poem. Returning to that analogy of the progress of a party, we are now at the point where the party is winding down and people are preparing to take their departure.
With this preface, several participants took me literally and offered verses about departure and travel. That was fortuitous, because although the renku has an airplane, the Sistine Chapel and a pyramid, we have not yet had a verse that is about travel, and it became clear to me that once again the renku was telling me what it wanted. All the travel topic verses were lovely and would have made an excellent lead-off for the Kyu, but the verse that stood out for me was Kala’s “trekking on Himalayas.” A few verses ago I had been wondering if our renku based on the Subcontinent saijiki would be able to include that iconic mountain range—especially since Kala will be there in two more months for a haiku workshop.
See how the verse shows us these pyramidal peaks rising from Amrutha’s verse, equating the peeling of extraneous layers with the simpler writing of our final “fast close” side. A brilliant metaphor!
Here are the three most recent verses together. If you’d like to see how well the Himalayan verse works with the break of sides, scroll down to the full renku further down on this post.
moonbeams dipping
into a storm drain and a stream
with the same alacrity / Priti Aisola
the whisper of falling leaves
rolls into a pyramid / Amrutha V. Prabhu
trekking on Himalayas
when layers
of our false selves peel off / Kala Ramesh
CALL FOR VERSE 18
This will be a single monsoon verse. The requirements are:
2 lines, monsoon.
person.
As always link to the previous verse, and shift away from the leap over the verse. Here they are again:
the whisper of falling leaves
rolls into a pyramid
trekking on Himalayas
when layers
of our false selves peel off
Recommendations: This is the second occurrence of Monsoon in our renku. When a topic repeats, the task is to make it different—explore different aspects.
Reread Marcie’s and Milan’s monsoon verses in our Ha, and check them against the saijiki:(https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/saijiki-monsoon-varsha) to see what you can bring to the renku that’s different.
Before you post, do a bit of self-critique. Have you checked (as best you can) that your verse follows the required criteria? How does it link to the previous verse? How does it shift away from the leap-over verse? What new topics or things does it introduce to the renku?
INSTRUCTIONS FOR SUBMITTING
Each participant may offer two submissions, posted together in the same comment, with your name as you would like it to appear in the renku. Instructions for submitting remain as last time.
The deadline is 48 hours from now. We follow Indian Standard Time (IST). This POST will go up on 13 July at 6 A.M. So on 15 July at 6 A.M, the window closes (IST). All the 18th verse offers must be posted on this thread BEFORE 6 A.M on 15 July.
THE RENKU SO FAR
1. Jo
house warming …
all the flavours of summer
on a dining table / Firdaus Parvi
a dozen ripened mangoes
from the neighbour next door / Kala Ramesh
the gleeful shouts
of street kids rolling
a bicycle tyre / Priti Aisola
an airplane through the clouds
in an indigo twilight / Margherita Petriccione
so close
the snow moon
envelops the field / Angiola Inglese
crackling silence as we bend
over the chess board / Sushama Kapur
2. Ha
caparisoned elephants
raising their trumpets amid
the village prayer beats / Lakshmi Iyer
a pied crested cuckoo
on a telephone wire / Marcie Wessels
after the downpour
she squeezes our clothes
under the banyan tree / Milan Rajkumar
a backlit craving races
into an embrace / Kavita Ratna
those dreams
of my first love
once again / Arvinder Kaur
the merry go round horse
stopped on a high note / Robert Kingston
a crick
in the neck
after Sistine Chapel / Sanjukta Asopa
shadows lengthen
into this new bite in the air / Sushama Kapur
a crick
in the neck
after Sistine Chapel / Sanjukta Asopa
shadows lengthen
into this new bite in the air / Sushama Kapur
moonbeams dipping
into a storm drain and a stream
with the same alacrity / Priti Aisola
the whisper of falling leaves
rolls into a pyramid / Amrutha V. Prabhu
3. Kyu
trekking on Himalayas
when layers
of our false selves peel off / Kala Ramesh
THE SCHEMA: NOTE ADJUSTMENTS IN VERSES 8-12 OF HA
Side one - Jo
hokku summer
wakiku summer
daisan non season
4 ns
5. winter moon
6 ns
***
Side 2 - Ha
7 ns
8 monsoon
9 monsoon love
10 ns lv
11 ns lv
12. ns
13 ns
14 autumn
15 au moon
16 autumn
***
Side 3 - Kyu
17 ns
18 monsoon (we are here!!)
19 ns
20 spring
21 sp blossom
ageku - sp
Links to our previous week: https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/copy-of-renku-linked-collaborative-verses-triparshva-15-16-call-for-17
*** **** ***** LINKS TO RESOURCES:
The schema for our triparshva: https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/renku-linked-collaborative-verses
URLs for online saijikis: https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/renku-linked-collaborative-verses-triparshva-4-1
Kondo and Higginson, “Link and Shift, A Practical Guide to Renku Composition”: http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/Link_Shift.html
Ferris Gilli, “English Grammar: Variety in Renku”: https://sites.google.com/site/worldhaikureview2/whr-archives/grammar-in-renku
Richard Gilbert’s “Muki Saijiki”: https://gendaihaiku.com/research/kigo/05-muki-saijiki-TOC.htm
*** *** *** *** Linda, The renku is progressing so well. Honoured to have my verse chosen for this beautiful renku. _()_