RENKU: linked collaborative verses: TRIPARSHVA 14, call for 15!

Updated: Jul 8

Sabaki (lead poet) - Linda Papanicolaou


TRIPARSHVA RENKU - Post 10, 11 & on to 12

SABAKI: L I N D A P A P A N I C O L A O U



POST: Choice of verse 14 & call for verse 15

7th JULY 2022

I’m sorry that we seem to be going down in the number of active participants. I do know that it can be discouraging to keep submitting without yet being placed in the renku. It’s always a problem when we take verses degachi—competitive open submissions as we are doing here. If you are attracted enough to renku to continue composing on your own, another way is to form a team of writing companions and take turns, each participant offering the next a choice of three or four options. This is called hizaokuri, “passing along the knees” (Carley, NZ Poetry Society, https://poetrysociety.org.nz/affiliates/haiku-nz/haiku-poems-articles/archived-articles/introduction-to-renku/).


I am still keeping track of who is submitting and am determined to get everyone on board, but from now on you will be seeing second verses from some people—depending on what the renku needs.



CHOICE OF VERSE 14


The verse we’ll be using in this slot is one of Sushama’s:


the merry go round horse

stopped on a high note


a crick

in the neck

after Sistine Chapel


shadows lengthen

into this new bite in the air


It is a simple, direct verse that links nicely by recasting the Sistine Chapel verse, as we come out of the Vatican to find that more time has passed than we realized, and there’s a chill in the air. Anticipating the next verse, “this new bite in the air” signals a change in the flow of the verses, and “shadows lengthen” offers a good link to our Moon verse, which is coming next. I won’t say more because again I would like to hear from all of you. What else do you see in this link and shift?



CALL FOR VERSE 15:

3-lines, non-person.

The season will be Autumn, and this will be our major moon verse. Please make it a pure nature verse. “Moon” by itself is an autumn kigo, and unless you qualify it as a quarter moon, waxing moon, etc., the default is that it is the full moon.

As always, link to the previous verse, and shift away from the leap over verse. Here they are again:


a crick

in the neck

after Sistine Chapel


shadows lengthen

into this new bite in the air


Before you post, do a bit of self-critique. Have you checked (as best you can) that your verse follows the required criteria? How does it link to the previous verse? How does it shift away from the leap-over verse? What new topics or things does it introduce to the renku?


INSTRUCTIONS FOR SUBMITTING


Each participant may offer two submissions, posted together in the same comment, with your name as you would like it to appear in the renku. Instructions for submitting remain as last time.

The deadline is 48 hours from now. We follow Indian Standard Time (IST). This POST will go up on 7th July at 6 A.M. So on 9th July at 6 A.M, the window closes (IST). All the 15th verse offers must be posted on this thread BEFORE 6 A.M on the 9th of July.



THE RENKU SO FAR


1. Jo

house warming …

all the flavours of summer

on a dining table / Firdaus Parvi


a dozen ripened mangoes

from the neighbour next door / Kala Ramesh


the gleeful shouts

of street kids rolling

a bicycle tyre / Priti Aisola


an airplane through the clouds

in an indigo twilight / Margherita Petriccione


so close

the snow moon

envelops the field / Angiola Inglese


crackling silence as we bend

over the chess board / Sushama Kapur


2. Ha


caparisoned elephants

raising their trumpets amid

the village prayer beats / Lakshmi Iyer


a pied crested cuckoo

on a telephone wire / Marcie Wessels


after the downpour

she squeezes our clothes

under the banyan tree / Milan Rajkumar


a backlit craving races

into an embrace / Kavita Ratna


those dreams

of my first love

once again / Arvinder Kaur


the merry go round horse

stopped on a high note / Robert Kingston


a crick

in the neck

after Sistine Chapel / Sanjukta Asopa


shadows lengthen

into this new bite in the air / Sushama Kapur




THE SCHEMA: NOTE ADJUSTMENTS IN VERSES 8-12 OF HA


Side one - jo


hokku summer

wakiku summer

daisan non season

4 ns

5 winter moon

6 ns


***


Side 2 - ha


7 ns

8 monsoon

9 monsoon love

10 ns lv

11 ns lv

12 ns

13 ns

14 autumn

15 au moon - We are Here!

u 16 autumn


***


Side 3 - kyu


17 ns

18 monsoon

19 ns

20 spring

21 sp blossom

ageku - sp



LINKS TO RESOURCES:


The schema for our triparshva: https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/renku-linked-collaborative-verses


URLs for online saijikis: https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/renku-linked-collaborative-verses-triparshva-4-1


Kondo and Higginson, “Link and Shift, A Practical Guide to Renku Composition”: http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/Link_Shift.html


Ferris Gilli, “English Grammar: Variety in Renku”: https://sites.google.com/site/worldhaikureview2/whr-archives/grammar-in-renku


Richard Gilbert’s “Muki Saijiki”: https://gendaihaiku.com/research/kigo/05-muki-saijiki-TOC.htm

*** *** *** *** Linda, Sushama's verse here fits so well and takes the renku forward. Excellent choice! Thanks a million for leading us on this exciting journey. _()_

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