Sabaki (lead poet) - Linda Papanicolaou
TRIPARSHVA RENKU - Post 10, 11 & on to 12
SABAKI: L I N D A P A P A N I C O L A O U
POST: Choice of verse 14 & call for verse 15
7th JULY 2022
I’m sorry that we seem to be going down in the number of active participants. I do know that it can be discouraging to keep submitting without yet being placed in the renku. It’s always a problem when we take verses degachi—competitive open submissions as we are doing here. If you are attracted enough to renku to continue composing on your own, another way is to form a team of writing companions and take turns, each participant offering the next a choice of three or four options. This is called hizaokuri, “passing along the knees” (Carley, NZ Poetry Society, https://poetrysociety.org.nz/affiliates/haiku-nz/haiku-poems-articles/archived-articles/introduction-to-renku/).
I am still keeping track of who is submitting and am determined to get everyone on board, but from now on you will be seeing second verses from some people—depending on what the renku needs.
CHOICE OF VERSE 14
The verse we’ll be using in this slot is one of Sushama’s:
the merry go round horse
stopped on a high note
a crick
in the neck
after Sistine Chapel
shadows lengthen
into this new bite in the air
It is a simple, direct verse that links nicely by recasting the Sistine Chapel verse, as we come out of the Vatican to find that more time has passed than we realized, and there’s a chill in the air. Anticipating the next verse, “this new bite in the air” signals a change in the flow of the verses, and “shadows lengthen” offers a good link to our Moon verse, which is coming next. I won’t say more because again I would like to hear from all of you. What else do you see in this link and shift?
CALL FOR VERSE 15:
3-lines, non-person.
The season will be Autumn, and this will be our major moon verse. Please make it a pure nature verse. “Moon” by itself is an autumn kigo, and unless you qualify it as a quarter moon, waxing moon, etc., the default is that it is the full moon.
As always, link to the previous verse, and shift away from the leap over verse. Here they are again:
a crick
in the neck
after Sistine Chapel
shadows lengthen
into this new bite in the air
Before you post, do a bit of self-critique. Have you checked (as best you can) that your verse follows the required criteria? How does it link to the previous verse? How does it shift away from the leap-over verse? What new topics or things does it introduce to the renku?
INSTRUCTIONS FOR SUBMITTING
Each participant may offer two submissions, posted together in the same comment, with your name as you would like it to appear in the renku. Instructions for submitting remain as last time.
The deadline is 48 hours from now. We follow Indian Standard Time (IST). This POST will go up on 7th July at 6 A.M. So on 9th July at 6 A.M, the window closes (IST). All the 15th verse offers must be posted on this thread BEFORE 6 A.M on the 9th of July.
THE RENKU SO FAR
1. Jo
house warming …
all the flavours of summer
on a dining table / Firdaus Parvi
a dozen ripened mangoes
from the neighbour next door / Kala Ramesh
the gleeful shouts
of street kids rolling
a bicycle tyre / Priti Aisola
an airplane through the clouds
in an indigo twilight / Margherita Petriccione
so close
the snow moon
envelops the field / Angiola Inglese
crackling silence as we bend
over the chess board / Sushama Kapur
2. Ha
caparisoned elephants
raising their trumpets amid
the village prayer beats / Lakshmi Iyer
a pied crested cuckoo
on a telephone wire / Marcie Wessels
after the downpour
she squeezes our clothes
under the banyan tree / Milan Rajkumar
a backlit craving races
into an embrace / Kavita Ratna
those dreams
of my first love
once again / Arvinder Kaur
the merry go round horse
stopped on a high note / Robert Kingston
a crick
in the neck
after Sistine Chapel / Sanjukta Asopa
shadows lengthen
into this new bite in the air / Sushama Kapur
THE SCHEMA: NOTE ADJUSTMENTS IN VERSES 8-12 OF HA
Side one - jo
hokku summer
wakiku summer
daisan non season
4 ns
5 winter moon
6 ns
***
Side 2 - ha
7 ns
8 monsoon
9 monsoon love
10 ns lv
11 ns lv
12 ns
13 ns
14 autumn
15 au moon - We are Here!
u 16 autumn
***
Side 3 - kyu
17 ns
18 monsoon
19 ns
20 spring
21 sp blossom
ageku - sp
LINKS TO RESOURCES:
The schema for our triparshva: https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/renku-linked-collaborative-verses
URLs for online saijikis: https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/renku-linked-collaborative-verses-triparshva-4-1
Kondo and Higginson, “Link and Shift, A Practical Guide to Renku Composition”: http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/Link_Shift.html
Ferris Gilli, “English Grammar: Variety in Renku”: https://sites.google.com/site/worldhaikureview2/whr-archives/grammar-in-renku
Richard Gilbert’s “Muki Saijiki”: https://gendaihaiku.com/research/kigo/05-muki-saijiki-TOC.htm
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Linda,
Sushama's verse here fits so well and takes the renku forward.
Excellent choice!
Thanks a million for leading us on this exciting journey.
_()_