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HAIKUsutradhar : 28th july 2023

Updated: Aug 1, 2023

HAIKUsutradhar. weekly prompts

A FRIDAY FEATURE

28th July Lev Hart, the mentor for HAIKUsutradhar, would be pleased to answer your questions and concerns.


hosts: Kala Ramesh

the month of July: Baisali Chatterjee Dutt


Prompt: openHALL


¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬ haikuKATHA - the monthly journal from Triveni Haikai India!

founder/managing editor: Kala Ramesh

associate editors:

Ashish Narain

Firdaus Parvez Hemapriya Chellappan

Priti Aisola Sanjuktaa Asopa

Shalini Pattabiraman

Suraja Menon Roychowdhury Vandana Parashar

Vidya Shankar

Haiku, senryu and haiga/shahai (photo haiku) posted here on this thread will be picked up for Triveni Haikai India's monthly journal - haikuKATHA At the moment we are not looking at found poetry, rengay and other split sequences. Other than haiga, no photos are to be shared on our blog on account of storage/memory limitations.

................................................................................................................................. Associate Editors, Madhuri Pillai, Akila G. and Reid Hepworth are stepping down for personal reasons. We wish them the very best. Associate Editors, K. Ramesh and Shobhana Kumar stepped down earlier in the year for personal reasons. A huge thank you to all four beautiful poets. Associate Editors, Sanjuktaa Asopa (from 15 October 2022) and Hemapriya Chellappan (from Dec 2022) will be joining us. A huge welcome to all these three lovely poets. _()_ ........... For some more exciting news! CHECK THESE FORUMS: Tanka, kyoka and tanka-prose to be posted on TANKA TAKE HOME and Haibun to be posted on THE HAIBUN GALLERY Please do visit: 'triveni spotlight' 'open sky :: SAMVAAD' and 'thinkALONG' Good poems and challenges are posted in these feature forums. ........

The poems you post will also be considered for the haikuKATHA Monthly Journal each month. Due to a sudden increase in activity, here are some quick guidelines, for HAIKUsutradhar:

1. From July 1st onwards only 2 haiku (numbered 1& 2) per week/prompt are to be posted on HAIKUsutradhar. 2. Please do not post two poems in one day/in 24 hours ... just one and in total only 2 poems per week from Friday to Friday.

2. For each poem you share, please comment on ONE other poem which isn't yours!

3. Post only your unpublished, original poems.

4. If poets have NOT ASKED for FEEDBACK, please do not give. 5. Most importantly, please do not post a variety of drafts, along with a request for readers to choose which they like most. Only one poem is to be posted. 6. If you revise your poem, please post the revision above the original. When selecting poems for haikuKATHA, the team will assume that the version on top is the one you prefer.

Please do not delete your original.


***

Post your best haiku and let's have each issue with your best work.

Poems previously published on your webpage or social media will be accepted.

Poems previously published in peer-reviewed or edited journals or anthologies and contest winners that were published elsewhere will not be accepted.


****

Prompt 4:

openHALL Welcome back! to this space where we create our own prompt, own verse!


Today is the third Friday of this month! and we offer openHALL to open up your muse. In the last three weeks, we have brought you some beautiful flowers. And for now, you are also welcome to freewheel as that is what openHALL is all about! Either way, do pour in! Have fun! Give us your best cut!

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356 Comments


#1

childhood again...

the reverberation

of stick hitting stone


~feedback welcome~

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Dipankar Dasgupta
Dipankar Dasgupta
Aug 03, 2023

#1

Revised - Thanks to Kala Ramesh, Sumitra Kumar


the snoring couple

on my bus-ride home …

a jugalbandi


Original

a jugalbandi

for my bus ride home

the snoring couple


(Feedback please. Deliberately avoided “duet”, though the word is probably common in Carnatic music. I miss a “when”. Could have made it “a jugalbandi eve”. The syllable count would then rise to 16! I am not sure if the two images are clearly separated. Am I telling in L1+ L2?)

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Dipankar Dasgupta
Dipankar Dasgupta
Aug 10, 2023
Replying to

Done. Thank you.

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samir satam
samir satam
Aug 02, 2023

#1


edited version: (after Lev's inputs)


breaking news

creases deepen

on ammi's forehead


original:


breaking news

cracks deepen

on ammi's forehead


ammi: mother

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samir satam
samir satam
Aug 03, 2023
Replying to

Thanks Lev. I wanted to use a word that can reflect 'brokenness' in the phrase - an effect of the 'breaking news'. However, I see your point.

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Kavita Ratna
Kavita Ratna
Aug 02, 2023

#2

--

bangle shards

smelting into fragile links

sharp memories



Feedback welcome

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neena singh
neena singh
Aug 02, 2023

#2


midsummer shower

a street child rushes

to pick mangoes


feedback most welcome...

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Lev Hart
Lev Hart
Aug 02, 2023
Replying to

The juxtaposition connects the energy of the shower to the boy's enthusiasm. Wonderful use of the seasonal reference. The images engage all the reader's senses. 14 syllables. You are mastering the craft.

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