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Writer's pictureKala Ramesh

haikaiTALKS: a saturday gathering! 9th November

haikaiTALKS: HAIKU STRUCTURE| a saturday gathering_under the banyan tree


host: Lev Hart 9th November 2024

haikaiTALKS: a saturday gathering_under the banyan tree


HAIKU STRUCTURE

Your host for haikaiTALKS Lev Hart


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HAIKU STRUCTURE


In your first post, you are invited to provide two different ways of structuring the same words. Here are examples of the same words in different structures:


summer dawn

parrots swooping through

the sprinkler


parrots swooping

through the sprinkler

summer dawn


summer dawn parrots swooping through the sprinkler


parrots swooping through the sprinkler

summer dawn



              summer

                             dawn

                                         parrots                                            sprinkler

                                                       swooping                  the

                                                                         through



parrots

swooping

through

the

sprinkler

summer

dawn


In your second post, you are invited to perform the same experiment --- with a different set of words. Dare yourself to try a structure for the first time. At the end of the week, I will assume that the uppermost variation in each post is what you want sent to the editors. Remember the kigo. Avoid shopworn images. Strive for originality.


“A Dictionary of Haiku Classified by Season Words with Traditional and Modern Methods,” by Jane Reichhold:



indian subcontinent SAIJIKI:


The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words:


The World Kigo Database:


The Yuki Teikei Haiku Season Word List:


**

Thank you for doing this for us, Lev.

Members,

Please give your feedback on others' commentary and poems too. _()_

This is an exciting phase for haikaiTALKS! Have fun! Keep writing and commenting! _kala

333 views95 comments

95 Comments


#2

 

Raindrops on the poinsettia evenfall

 

r

a

i

n

d

r

o

p

s

on the poinsettia

      evenfall

 

Joanna Ashwell

UK


Feedback welcome

Edited
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#2 Revised - thanks Lev frosted dawn

tracing the wind

with my glasses Sandip Chauhan, USA frosted dawn

i grip the monocle

to trace the wind


frosted dawn

i grip the monocle

to trace the

w i n d Sandip Chauhan, USA feedback welcome

Edited
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Replying to

thanks Lev, this version works well for me; I love the flow!

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#1


Edits, thanks to Lev:

 


trolley aisle

the back and forth

of spring sunbeams

 

 

 

back

             and

                        forth

spring sunbeams

through the trolley aisle

 

 

Joanna Ashwell

UK

 

Feedback welcome


#1

 

trolley aisle

the back and forth

of a sunbeam

 

back

          and

                   forth

sunbeams

             through the trolley aisle

 

Joanna Ashwell

UK

 

Feedback welcome

Edited
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Replying to

Thank you Lev, I have included the spring reference which I hope helps. I look forward to the trees prompt, thank you.

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#2 13/11


Revision 1 Thanks a lot Lev🌹


winter night

lone trees

date with stars


winter night

lone trees

date with stars


Fatma Zohra Habis/ Algeria


The original 🌺


winter night

maybe I'll find you

among the stars


among the stars

maybe I'll find you

winter night


feedback welcome 🌺


Edited
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Replying to

Thank you very much Joanna 🌹 ❤️

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for some reason this only just showed up on the web site for me today Wednesday the 13 th

Hmmmm ....

Edited
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Replying to

thank you, here i thought home page would be reliable ....

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