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Writer's pictureKala Ramesh

haikaiTALKS: a saturday gathering! 19th October

Updated: Oct 20

haikaiTALKS: MONO NO AWARE | a saturday gathering_under the banyan tree


host: Lev Hart 19th October 2024

haikaiTALKS: a saturday gathering_under the banyan tree


MONO NO AWARE - 2


Your host for haikaiTALKS Lev Hart


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Mono No Aware 2

 

Kanji Dev’s haiku has mono no aware, “the touchingness of things”:

  

              the woodpecker keeps hammering hunger moon

 

               (HAIKUsutradhar, 20/04/24)

 

The image, “hunger moon,” as we saw in “Names of the Full Moon,” is a seasonal reference to Winter. In the context of “hunger moon,” the woodpecker’s hammering suggests a plight that would be absent in any other season. The situation becomes clear in a breathtaking image, “hammering hunger.” This image suggests traditional themes linked to Winter, like hardship and death. The winter season, with its allusions, combines with the immediacy of “hammering hunger” to evoke feelings like concern, compassion, empathy, and fellow-feeling. The woodpecker’s perseverance evokes admiration and hope.

 

Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to write two haiku with mono no aware, evoking empathy through nature imagery. Strive for originality, avoiding shopworn images. Remember the kigo, or seasonal reference. Traditional haiku is all about the juxtaposition of the season with the moment.

 

“A Dictionary of Haiku Classified by Season Words with Traditional and Modern Methods,” by Jane Reichhold:

 

The Yuki Teikei Haiku Season Word List:

 

indian subcontinent SAIJIKI:

 

The World Kigo Database:

 

The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words:

 


**

Thank you for doing this for us, Lev.

Members,

Please give your feedback on others' commentary and poems too. _()_

This is an exciting phase for haikaiTALKS! Have fun! Keep writing and commenting! _kala

515 views210 comments

210 commentaires


#1 24/10


Revision 1 Thanks a lot Lev🙏


mackerel clouds

in the shifting light

rain talk


Fatma Zohra Habis/ Algeria


The original


messages

in the shifting light

fall sky


feedback welcome 🌺

Modifié
J'aime
En réponse à

Thank you Lev🌺

I'll revise it .

J'aime

mona bedi
mona bedi
23 oct.

Post #2

23.10.24


Revised thanks to Lev:


autumn morn —

mother folds sunshine

into the linen


Original:


autumn sun —

mother darns

our old socks


Mona Bedi

India

Feedback appreciated:)

Modifié
J'aime
En réponse à

Beautiful Mona, folding sunshine into the linen - wonderful imagery.

J'aime

Kalyanee
Kalyanee
23 oct.

23.10.2024

#1


how silent

heroes lie in a cemetery

autumn wind


Kalyanee Arandhara

Assam, India


Feedback most welcome

J'aime
Kalyanee
Kalyanee
25 oct.
En réponse à

Thanks Fatma.

J'aime

#2


one stroke of a crow’s caw  bare tree


Keiko Izawa, Japan

Feedback appreciated.


J'aime
En réponse à

Lev,


I thought of the Basho ku as well. Wouldn’t the allusion add depth or verticality to the ku? I feel it is positive, but now it seems to be thought of as diminishing the ku. Normally, one cannot ask the poet.


J'aime

#2 Revised: thanks, Lev farmer's market

the weight of peaches

on the scale Sandip Chauhan, USA farmer's market

the weight of peaches

left on the scale Sandip Chauhan, USA feedback welcome

Modifié
J'aime
En réponse à

Thanks, Lev. Dropping 'left' doesn’t diminish the meaning but tightens the phrasing. I will remove it.

J'aime
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