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writeALONG! 9 April

A TUESDAY FEATURE

hosts: Muskaan Ahuja, K.Ramesh

guest editor: Iqra Raza


Please note: 


Only the unpublished poems (that are never published on any social media platform/journals/anthologies) posted here for each prompt will be considered for Triveni Haikai India's monthly journal -- haikuKATHA, each month.


Poets are requested to post poems (haiku/senryu) that adhere to the prompts/exercises given.


Only 1 poem to be posted in 24 hours. Total 2 poems per poet are allowed each week (numbered 1,2). So, revise your poems till 'words obey your call'.


If a poet wants feedback, then the poet must mention 'feedback welcome' below each poem that is being posted.


Responses are usually a mixture of grain and chaff. The poet has to be discerning about what to take for the final version of the poem or the unedited version will be picked up for the journal.


The final version should be on top of the original version for selection.


Poetry is a serious business. Give you best attempt to feature in haikuKATHA !!

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dusting the books

he planned to read this summer

his widow


--- Bill Kenny


This brilliantly poignant ku changes tone and hence meaning by L3. What begins as an assumption of procrastination and distractedness with “dusting the books/he planned to read this summer” is shattered in the last line when the readers realise that it is about the transience of life. It’s not a man dusting books he couldn’t catch up on (perhaps because life got in the way, haven’t we all been there?) but his widow taking care of the man’s material possessions because that is her way of accessing him after he is gone with unrealized plans.


Haiku Prompt: Write a haiku that completely transforms the readers’ understanding of it in the last line.

245 Comments


Jennifer Gurney
Jennifer Gurney
Apr 14, 2024

#2 4-14-24


Vivaldi's Spring

wafts out through open-windows

along with winter


Jennifer Gurney, US


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Susan Yavaniski
Susan Yavaniski
Apr 13, 2024

#2


mother’s legacy

in her elegant cursive

a list of ailments


(5-7-5 format purely serendipitous )


Susan Yavaniski

NY USA

Feedback welcome

Edited
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Nisha Raviprasad
Apr 15, 2024
Replying to

Brilliant😃

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Keith Evetts
Keith Evetts
Apr 12, 2024

#2 winter sunset the growing shadow of the X-ray


Keith Evetts UK

comments always welcome

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Keith Evetts
Keith Evetts
Apr 15, 2024
Replying to

Thanks for the questions, Lev.


I wouldn't see it as hyperbole. I would see it as depicting a progression. If you think in terms of the radiographer's X-ray, there's another layer. Hence the shadow 'of' the X-ray. You can also see it in the slanting sunbeams...

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Adelaide Shaw
Adelaide Shaw
Apr 12, 2024

Post 1 correction thanks to Lev


tea in the garden

with visiting friends

white butterflies


Adelaide B. Shaw

USA


comments welcomed

Edited
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lev hart
lev hart
Apr 13, 2024
Replying to

Without the em-dash, the verse would be more ambiguous. Perhaps the butterflies are joining you and your friends, or perhaps the butterflies are the friends who are joining you.

Edited
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#2


the tree bursting with mangoes her third miscarriage


Dipankar Dasgupta India (Feedback welcome. I think "tree" is nature in this poem and "mangoes" refer to the approaching summer in India.)

Edited
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Replying to

Much honoured, since the comment comes from a woman. You know about this far better than me.

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