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writeALONG! 30 April

A TUESDAY FEATURE

hosts: Muskaan Ahuja, K.Ramesh

guest editor: Iqra Raza


Please note: 


Only the unpublished poems (that are never published on any social media platform/journals/anthologies) posted here for each prompt will be considered for Triveni Haikai India's monthly journal -- haikuKATHA, each month.


Poets are requested to post poems (haiku/senryu) that adhere to the prompts/exercises given.


Only 1 poem to be posted in 24 hours. Total 2 poems per poet are allowed each week (numbered 1,2). So, revise your poems till 'words obey your call'.


If a poet wants feedback, then the poet must mention 'feedback welcome' below each poem that is being posted.


Responses are usually a mixture of grain and chaff. The poet has to be discerning about what to take for the final version of the poem or the unedited version will be picked up for the journal.


The final version should be on top of the original version for selection.


Poetry is a serious business. Give you best attempt to feature in haikuKATHA !!

.....................................................................................................................................


multiple tabs

my husband opens solitaire

as I enter


--- Vandana Parashar


There is a lot of ambiguity in this ku which allows the readers to build their own contexts for it. One way to read it would be to think of it as a dishonest partnership where the man is hiding something unpleasant from his wife. However, an opposite reading would be to think of it as a sweet gesture- the husband is planning a surprise for his wife and hence needs to hide the details. Either way, this ku is full of anxiety and the readers can’t help but feel some of it.


Haiku Prompt: Write a ku that can be read in two completely different ways because of the

incorporation of an element of ambiguity

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240 Comments


Dear Iqra


Thank you so much for sparing your time for thinkALONG! feature. We certainly enjoyed your prompts and the example poems every week.


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2


writing

on a dusty pane

see-through ​l​ove


Kavita Ratna, India

--


Feedback most welcome


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Replying to

Thank you so much Joanna.... on the dusty glass pane, I had seen a heart with an arrow and two names :)

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Srini
Srini
May 04

#2 [04 May 2024]


as the moon shines moonshine


--- Srini, India


Comments appreciated

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Srini
Srini
May 05
Replying to

I understand, sir. This is precious advice, thank you :).

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Kalyani
Kalyani
May 04

04.05.2024

#2


Revision. Thank you, Dinah Power.


my hand glides

over the name in bold

a crinkly diary


Kalyanee Arandhara

Assam, India


Feedback most welcome


Original:


rubbing my hand

over the name in bold

a crinkly diary


Kalyanee Arandhara

Assam, India


Feedback most welcome

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Replying to

You’re most welcome

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1


Revised: Thank you very much Lev for point out the typo and all your reflections.


in-flight shudders

shut eyes 

see home


------------


First version


inflight shudders

shut eyes 

see home


Kavita Ratna, India

---

Feedback most welcome

Like
.
.
May 06
Replying to

Re: "I thought it was a phrase...." My apologies. I saw only the one possibility:


in-flight shudders ---

shut eyes ---

see home


Perhaps:


in-flight shudders shut eyes see home


Here, "shudders" pivots from "inflight shudders" to "shudders shut eyes," which is exactly what's happening. The turbulence is shuddering the poet's shut eyes. The last four words are clearly the phrase: "shut eyes see home." Plus extra brownie points for being a monoku. What do you think?

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