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writeALONG! 26 April

Writer's picture: Muskaan AhujaMuskaan Ahuja

A TUESDAY FEATURE

host: Muskaan Ahuja


๐Ž๐ง ๐ƒ๐ž๐ฌ๐œ๐ซ๐ข๐ฉ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐–๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ : ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐•๐ž๐ซ๐›๐ฌ We have already exploited the technique: ๐’๐ก๐จ๐ฐ, ๐ƒ๐จ๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐ญ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฅ to such an extent that we know how to stir the readerโ€™s imagination and show him/her a concrete picture. Today, we shall have a closer look at what makes such a writing tick. โ€œThe writing which SHOWS relies on nouns and verbs instead of adjectives and adverbs. Verbs immediately show actions. Adjectives barely scratch the surface. Consider these two lines: ๐Ÿ. ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ฐ๐ž๐š๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐ฐ๐š๐ฌ ๐›๐š๐. ๐Ÿ. ๐€ ๐ก๐š๐ซ๐ฌ๐ก ๐ฐ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ž๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ญ๐ซ๐ž๐ž๐ฌ. ๐Ÿ. ๐ˆ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐š๐ฌ ๐š๐ฅ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐๐ฒ ๐…๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ. ๐Ÿ. ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐๐ซ๐ฒ ๐จ๐ซ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ž ๐ฅ๐ž๐š๐ฏ๐ž๐ฌ ๐œ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ง๐œ๐ก๐ž๐ ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐ž๐ซ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ž๐ญ. Guess which one provokes imagery? The first one is telling a scene while the second one is showing it. Thereโ€™s action in the second one. It is said that verbs are the emotional packet while nouns are the meat in haiku. You may use adjectives but donโ€™t overdo them and make sure your writing looks balanced. Donโ€™t tell your reader what to think. Show the emotion and let the reader feel it. Instead of telling โ€œ๐‡๐ž ๐ฐ๐š๐ฌ ๐ฅ๐š๐ณ๐ฒ.โ€ Show: โ€œ๐‡๐ž ๐ฐ๐š๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐š๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐š๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฐ๐ข๐๐ž ๐›๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ž ๐ฌ๐ค๐ฒ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ž๐ง๐ฃ๐จ๐ฒ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐œ๐š๐ฅ๐ฆ.โ€

Look...you actually felt that! Try writing the show version of the following using nouns and verbs:

โ€œ๐ˆ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐š๐ฌ ๐ซ๐š๐ข๐ง๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ก๐ž๐š๐ฏ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ.โ€

As is the custom, I leave you with a quote by Anton Chekov: โ€œ๐ƒ๐จ๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐ญ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฆ๐จ๐จ๐ง ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ . ๐’๐ก๐จ๐ฐ ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ญ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐จ๐ง ๐›๐ซ๐จ๐ค๐ž๐ง ๐ ๐ฅ๐š๐ฌ๐ฌ."


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7 Comments


lakshmi iyer
lakshmi iyer
May 03, 2022

first time ...

the kittens learn

to lick its paws

.

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tanka anya
tanka anya
Apr 30, 2022

Well, this has one adjective, but maybe it might work or not:


pregnant clouds

my baby s pulse-beats

expecting rain


an'ya

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Muskaan Ahuja
Muskaan Ahuja
May 01, 2022
Replying to

Thanks for sharing your poem, Anโ€™ya! Sometimes an adjective works if the poem demandsโ€ฆ


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Muskaan Ahuja
Muskaan Ahuja
Apr 30, 2022

Waiting to read your answers based on the exercise. Dive in!

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Kala Ramesh
Kala Ramesh
Apr 27, 2022

What a lovely post, Muskaan. ๐Ÿ˜Ž

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Muskaan Ahuja
Muskaan Ahuja
Apr 30, 2022
Replying to

Thankyou, Kala. You are kind!

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Kavita Ratna
Kavita Ratna
Apr 26, 2022

showered down...

damp raises up

inch by inch


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