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writeALONG! 16 April

Writer's picture: Muskaan AhujaMuskaan Ahuja

A TUESDAY FEATURE

hosts: Muskaan Ahuja, K.Ramesh

guest editor: Iqra Raza


Please note: 


Only the unpublished poems (that are never published on any social media platform/journals/anthologies) posted here for each prompt will be considered for Triveni Haikai India's monthly journal -- haikuKATHA, each month.


Poets are requested to post poems (haiku/senryu) that adhere to the prompts/exercises given.


Only 1 poem to be posted in 24 hours. Total 2 poems per poet are allowed each week (numbered 1,2). So, revise your poems till 'words obey your call'.


If a poet wants feedback, then the poet must mention 'feedback welcome' below each poem that is being posted.


Responses are usually a mixture of grain and chaff. The poet has to be discerning about what to take for the final version of the poem or the unedited version will be picked up for the journal.


The final version should be on top of the original version for selection.


Poetry is a serious business. Give you best attempt to feature in haikuKATHA !!

.....................................................................................................................................


mixed in

with the instructions

her perfume


--- Tom Clausen


This ku really stood out to me, primarily because of its incorporation of Synesthesia (combining two different kinds of sensory inputs). I imagine the poet being instructed to do something - requiring aural skill – but he is at the same time, hyper aware of the fragrance the

instructor is wearing – activating the olfactory sense as well. Interestingly, this is not a reference to distractedness where the fragrance overtakes his ability to comprehend instructions, but instead “mix(es)” in with the instructions making it a truly synesthetic experience


Haiku Prompt: Write a ku that incorporates an element/instance of Synesthesia.

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247 Comments


Kala Ramesh
Kala Ramesh
Apr 20, 2024

flip-flops 

— her sari dotted with

muddy rain 


Kala Ramesh #1

Feedback most welcome!

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lev hart
lev hart
Apr 22, 2024
Replying to

@Padma Priya


I agree with everything that Padma said. This is my favourite of all your ku. The reader can hear the flip-flops, see the dots of mud, feel the rain... The imagery engages the reader's senses; and, through them, her imagination. The imagery is objective, so the poet's presence does not come between the reader and the scene. Similar to the poet's self-effacement, the wording is simple, plain and brief enough to become transparent. Nothing obstructs the reader's view of the scene.


For all the same reasons, here is my second favourite of all your ku:


sparrows

knocking on my window

dawn

 

Concrete imagery engaging the senses, an objective standpoint, nature images, simplicity, clarity, self-effacement... These verses are…

Edited
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mona bedi
mona bedi
Apr 19, 2024

Post #2

19.4.25


scent of rain

from faraway the sound

of a long lost lullaby


Feedback appreciated:)

Mona Bedi

India

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mona bedi
mona bedi
Apr 20, 2024
Replying to

Thanks dear

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Nisha Raviprasad
Nisha Raviprasad
Apr 19, 2024

summer dawn

the smell of mother's sindhoor

in her photograph


Nisha Raviprasad

India


Post 1


Feedback welcome


Edited
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Padma Priya
Apr 20, 2024
Replying to

Nice.

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Sunet Madaan
Sunet Madaan
Apr 19, 2024

#1 bunch of wildflowers... few strangers and I

sway with the breeze Suneet Madan, India feedback welcome

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Keiko Izawa
Keiko Izawa
Apr 19, 2024

#2


oldies café

a long forgotten friend

in the beer bubbles


Keiko Izawa, Japan

Edited
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Linda Papanicolaou
Apr 21, 2024
Replying to

nice, gentle layering of age and memory

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