writeALONG! 13th June
- Muskaan Ahuja
- Jun 13, 2023
- 1 min read
Updated: Jun 14, 2023
A TUESDAY FEATURE
host: Muskaan Ahuja, Lakshmi Iyer
guest editor: Sangita Kalarickal
Ego in Haiku
This week I want to bring up a topic that is close to my heart. How do we make sure that there is the 'ma' or space enough in the haiku to pull the reader in and make sure the reader makes the haiku what they want it to be? One way to NOT do this is by the use of the poet’s explicit presence in the haiku. Using the first person definitely does this. So, this week, how about writing a haiku where the haijin is present in the haiku without being overly so?
homecoming —
the forgotten taste
of Tibetan butter tea
-- Meera Rehm
alone
in the waiting room
a box of tissues
-- Brad Bennet
#2 19/06/23
Self Edit: trying to avoid two ‘ing’ gerund. Feedback?
she opens
the hand fan and sits down sweltering heat
Original
sweltering heat
opening the hand fan
she finds a chair
feedback yes
Thank you all for writing in. I am beyond thrilled that you have resonated with my thoughts about this topic and for my part, am learning as well. One last day before we go on our next adventure this month!
#5
.
winter silence
the crackle of firewood
soft and smooth
.
Feedback please
twilight-stained glass glowing oneness
??
does it work?
#3
temple visit —
the scent of a prayer
from each flower
Feedback appreciated:)