triveni spotlight: 30 november
- Kala Ramesh
- Nov 30, 2022
- 1 min read
triveni spotlight
A FEATURE EVERY ALTERNATE DAY!
hosts: Teji Sethi and Kala Ramesh
GUEST EDITOR: Paul Miller (paul m.)
to the one breaking it—
the fragrance
of the plum
Chiyo-ni
Woman Haiku Master, trans. Patricia Donegan (1998)
Note by the Guest Editor:
These poems have been pulled from my ever-growing document of favorite haiku.
Some I have admired for years, while others I have newly discovered. This is the
joy of poetry, as of life: its ever-changing course of discovery. I encourage all
readers of poetry to keep such a file. As far as has been possible, I have obtained
permission from the writers to share them.
– Paul Miller (paul m.)
Imo, the first line is a gem! I admire the concept of breaking with the traditional plum fragrance; which of course leads one to think of breaking many other traditional concepts. Great choice.
Nice!!
Liked 'to the one breaking it' with an em dash. Syllable count has become a choice of the poets. And i feel the sum total of syllables can be kept as a margin..... distribution can be anyway.
Sometimes, the voice of the poet demands so. The essence of the poem lies in line one on which the other two lines ride on. Em dash is the deciding factor. It emphasis the action, result can be anything.
Nice, unusual, simple, very tactile. Long L 1 with 6 syllables…