triveni spotlight A FEATURE EVERY ALTERNATE DAY! hosts: Teji Sethi and Kala Ramesh guest editor: Sanjuktaa Asopa
fallen leaves
have we said enough
fallen leaves
- Tom Clausen
(Frameless Sky, issue # 15)
Editor's Note: The theme is ' The Ephemeral'. My endeavour here is to feature the poems that portray the ephemerality of things and emotions.
My haiku in Haiku in Action this week: sakura- how fleeting this regret
Beautiful!
A statement of fact in L 1 (and all that the 'fallen leaves' signify -- autumn, the autumn in one's life, a carpet on the earth to soften our footfalls, a breeding place within their layers for small forms of life, and so on):
fallen leaves
and then the desire, the gentle yearning for freshness and new life in simple words:
have we said enough
fallen leaves
My reading, which could be so wrong. :)
Love the layering effect in this poem.
Very effective. Tom is excellent. His tanka are exquisite too.
I love each line here ... Well done and well picked.
Lakhshmi & Mona, I could have selected any number of beautiful poems or tanks by this poet, and he has aplenty,but I selected this one because I thought this fits beautifully in the context of what have gone before, the poems that had been posted before this . The phrase 'fallen leaves' itself indicates ephemeral, doesn't it? You could take the poem at its face value if you want or go beyond the surface. I personally found this very layered. In any case, that this tanka makes one stop and ponder, shows how successful it is and not only because of the repitition.
As for the ellipsis, I don't think it was really needed, because a pause occurs naturally at…