triveni spotlight
A FEATURE EVERY ALTERNATE DAY!
hosts: Teji Sethi and Kala Ramesh
guest editor: Scott Mason
Theme: hand play
storm shelter…
a girl and her mother play
itsy-bitsy spider
Brenda J. Gannam
The Heron’s Nest
Vol. X, No. 4 (December 2008)
All these poems were originally published in The Heron's Nest. I chose to confine my search there not just for the quality but also for the convenience of its online archive.
Scott Mason
I think this is really interesting for a couple of reasons.
I agree with Lakshmi. "storm shelter" is such a good set up, especially the word 'shelter' which implies comfort or protection. Added to 'storm' it gives one the idea that there is some trepidation or fear of the storm.
We have a mother and daughter huddled together in the storm shelter. There's an implied intimacy from the get-go. The mother entertains or distracts the child with a finger play. In and of itself, this is a really touching moment.
The other brilliant thing about this haiku, at least for me, is the choice of song.
This would be a completely different haiku with a different nursery rhyme and the…
Superb!!!
Line 1 image is the best.
storm shelter ...
( Yes, ellipsis, my favourite)
The next two lines are so loving to read and looks as though your giving shelter to the spider or the girl must have got scared and her mother coaxing her with this play.
Thank you so much!!
storm shelter…
a girl and her mother play
itsy-bitsy spider
Brenda J. Gannam
Most poignant. Of course in India, it would have been a poem using fingers in a regional language - for only the middle class and above learn English in schools.
But the idea is clear, and most endearing.