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thinkALONG! 31 January

Updated: Jan 31, 2023

A TUESDAY FEATURE

host: Muskaan Ahuja

guest editor: Hifsa Ashraf



GOING FOR A WALK?


“Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink the wild air.”


– Ralph Waldo Emerson


I like to walk daily in the evening for an hour and it’s quite soothing to unwind the routine work of a day. During my walk, I let my senses experience something unique or different in nature i.e. an unknown fragrance from somewhere of an unknown flower, a butterfly that crosses my path, a cloud that has a unique shape.


Basho travelled a lot and shared his sense of uniqueness in nature through his poems.



moon and snow

seem to be ignoring each other

end of the year


-- Matsuo Basho





from the plum-scented air

suddenly the sun comes up

on the mountain road


-- Matsuo Basho



What do you notice when you go outdoors/outside? If not, please spare some time, take a walk, and let us know about your unique or different experience of the outer world.

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11 Comments


Disha Upadhyay
Disha Upadhyay
Feb 03, 2023

The prompt motivated me to go out for an early morning walk!


#1. 03.02.2023

Revised, thank you muskaan, for your help :)


fractured clouds —

first light clearing path

for the sun


(Feedback welcome)


—×————×—


Original


dark sky fractured —

a sunlight clearing path

for sunrise

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Kala Ramesh
Kala Ramesh
Feb 06, 2023
Replying to

fractured clouds —

first light clearing path

for the sun


Very nicely revised.


But perhaps you need to add 'a' in L2?


fractured clouds —

first light clearing a path

for the sun


Post it on HAIKUsutradhar.


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Kanji Dev
Kanji Dev
Feb 01, 2023

feedback welcomed


#1


sudden downpour

knee-deep in puddles

in wellies


Kanjini Devi


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taking the arse end of the bear with me

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31/1/23 #1


this foggy evening

amidst vehicle exhaust

the smell of fritters


Feedback welcome

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Kanji Dev
Kanji Dev
Feb 01, 2023
Replying to

I like this, L1 gives emphasis to this particular evening. So perhaps, the poet encounters vehicle exhaust every evening. But this evening, the poet also detects the tantalizing aroma of fritters! How about?


this foggy evening

amidst vehicle exhaust

aroma of fritters

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Kala Ramesh
Kala Ramesh
Jan 31, 2023

Lovely, Hifsa. Generally it's always recommended to include the translator's name anytime you quote the masters.

No?

Thank you so much for being here through this month.

Much appreciated.

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