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thinkALONG! 24 October

A TUESDAY FEATURE

hosts: Muskaan Ahuja, Lakshmi Iyer

guest editor: Daipayan Nair


Please note:


Only the unpublished poems (that are never published on any social media platform/journals/anthologies) posted here for each prompt will be considered for Triveni Haikai India's monthly journal -- haikuKATHA, each month.


Poets are requested to post poems that adhere to the prompts/exercises given.


Only 1 poem to be posted in 24 hours. Total 2 poems per poet are allowed each week (numbered 1,2). So, revise your poems till 'words obey your call'.


If a poet wants feedback, then the poet must mention 'feedback welcome' below each poem that is being posted.


Responses are usually a mixture of grain and chaff. The poet has to be discerning about what to take for the final version of the poem or the unedited version will be picked up for the journal.


The final version should be on top of the original version for selection.


Poetry is a serious business. Give you best attempt to feature in haikuKATHA !!


....................................................................................................................................


"Heaven is a house with porch lights"


– Ray Bradbury



Some of the most interesting images in our everyday life form in front of our eyes while we sip our morning tea shooing away the butterflies, or read the newspaper keeping an eye on the squirrel, or watch the murmuration while chatting with our beloved. We live these experiences sitting on our porch.


While writing observational haiku, it's essential to separate the self from the image. Observe the image in its utmost simplicity and therein lies your haiku. Try describing the image in the exact way it appears to be and you will continue to attain humility in understanding nature. The moment you start enforcing yourself on the image, you tend to complicate the words. Your perception of the image unnecessarily increases the syllables.


Today, I invite you all to write an observational haiku, something you witness from your porch every morning, every evening. I leave you all with this beautiful haiku to further enhance your senses:

pumpkin seeds

drying on the porch

old newspaper news


--- Zoran Doderović


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114 Comments


mona bedi
mona bedi
Oct 30, 2023

Post #2

30.10.23


racing cars --

the arduous journey

of a rickshaw puller


Feedback appreciated:)

Mona Bedi

India

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Kathabela Wilson
Kathabela Wilson
Oct 29, 2023

#2


home to sleep

under the same leaf

lantana moth


feedback welcome

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marilyn ashbaugh
marilyn ashbaugh
Oct 30, 2023
Replying to

love the musicality!

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Adelaide Shaw
Adelaide Shaw
Oct 26, 2023

Post 2 revision


a broad-winged hawk

on the garden fence—

migration paused


original version


pausing its migration

a broad winged-hawk

on the deck rail


Adelaide B. Shaw

USA


Feedback welcomed

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Steph Zepherelli
Steph Zepherelli
Oct 29, 2023
Replying to

Thank you for this link Linda. It’s fascinating.

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Alfred Booth
Alfred Booth
Oct 26, 2023

#2

**

bad night

flipping to the cold side

once again

**

[2023.26.10…a]

Alfred Booth

Lyon, France

(feedback welcome)

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Alfred Booth
Alfred Booth
Oct 26, 2023
Replying to

Adelaide,

Thanks for your idea.

IMO, “insomnia” tells whereas “bad night” shows. Also, insomnia is not the only reason for a bad night.

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Sunet Madaan
Sunet Madaan
Oct 26, 2023

#2 (26-10-2023):

winter chill

branches shed fear

of going naked


Suneet Madan, India Feedback appreciated...

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Eavonka Ettinger
Eavonka Ettinger
Oct 26, 2023
Replying to

As I mentioned, monoku can be done in many ways. I prefer those with multiple breaks, but many prefer other types.

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