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THE HAIBUN GALLERY : 9th June — a Thursday feature

Hosts: Akila G. and Shalini Pattabiraman

8th June


This month we'll be showcasing haibun written by Sonam Chhoki.

Sonam Chhoki was interviewed by Vidya Venkataramani. It is a three part series and you can read all about her haikai journey, inspirations, thoughts and favourites. The link to the interview is given below:

https://cafehaiku.wordpress.com/2021/07/18/ch-interview-lighting-butter-lamps/

For this week's writing prompt, we bring another haibun of Sonam that was published in The Contemporary Haibun Online.


The Botany of Dreams


Again, I descend to the moss-blackened lake, a motionless slab in the full moon. I place the sacred vase carefully on a ledge of rock but cannot find matches to light the incense. I am filled with fear of offending the family gods. Then, a voice I recognise as my father’s calls out.

He beckons me to a jagged promontory. Staring across the gulf I feel it is not space that I am drawn into but the vast expanse of time, at once immediate in the instant and boundless without end. Something in me frees itself and falls away.


anniversary . . . the perfidious joy of field flowers


This piece is like the sacred vase in her hand - gentle. There is a gentleness in her narrative infused by the elements around her that she brings in her haibun. There is a connection between the self and the surroundings seeded in humility.

We invite you to take this cue as your inspiration and write a haibun where you establish this connection - you and nature where you both integrate, as if you were always one, seamless.


PLEASE NOTE:

1. Only two haibun per poet per prompt.

2. Share your best-polished pieces.

3. Please do not post something in a hurry or something you have just written. Let it simmer for a while.

4. When poets give suggestions and if you agree to them - post your final edited version on top of your original version.

5. Don't forget to give feedback on others' poems.


We are delighted to open the comment thread for you to share your unpublished haibun (within 300 words) to be considered for inclusion in the haikuKATHA monthly journal.



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87 Comments


Reid Hepworth
Reid Hepworth
Jun 15, 2022

Revised: Thank you Mona for the edit suggestions!


Homecoming


Burrowed between the pines and cedars, smoke from the cabin’s chimney unfurls into the morning drizzle. As I haul water from the creek, a Whiskey Jack stops to watch me, cocking it’s head as if to say, “what are you doing”? I pat down my pockets and pull out a few seeds. I raise my open palm and look at the bird. It watches me for a second and then flies onto my palm, tiny feet tickling my skin, pecking at the seeds. When it has finished my offering it looks at me again.

“That’s it, my friend. Don’t be greedy”.

Smiling, I climb up the embankment, past the skunk cabbage…


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Reid Hepworth
Reid Hepworth
Jun 15, 2022
Replying to

Thank you, Anju! I’m glad you felt that way while reading it. That was my hope for the piece.

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mona bedi
mona bedi
Jun 14, 2022

Lucid Interval


There is something about mornings.Stealing a few moments for myself before the household gets engulfed in the day's rigamarole,I go up to the terrace with a cup of tea. The breeze is still sleepy. A faint orange glow has started to appear in the east. I revel in the silence. Soon the bird chatter starts and the day is fully awake.


faded sunlight

origami cranes ready

to take flight


feedback appreciated:)

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mona bedi
mona bedi
Jun 15, 2022
Replying to

Thanks Anju! Faded sunlight here refers to dawn or sunset or even a cloudy day.

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Anju Kishore
Anju Kishore
Jun 14, 2022

Version 3

Thanks Shalini. Trying out this 2-line ku


Parallel Worlds


The motionless lake mirrors the morning. There is nothing the dew has not touched, lending the park a greener green, and a quieter quiet.


I step closer to the water, almost afraid of disturbing the air


Suddenly a great flap of white takes off from the edge in a magnificent display of feather power. Gracefully, the stork circles the lake once as if to find me before soaring away into the clear blue sky.


lone cloud

shapeshifting


****************************

Reposted with an altered haiku. Thanks Shalini. Does it look better now?


Parallel Worlds The motionless lake mirrors the morning. There is nothing the dew has not touched, lending the park a…


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Anju Kishore
Anju Kishore
Jun 26, 2022
Replying to

Hi Shalini


Shall we go with the following then? Will it be ok?


lone cloud

shape shifting


Thanks a . Apologies for the delayed response. I have been off social media these last couple of weeks.



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lakshmi iyer
lakshmi iyer
Jun 12, 2022

Revised: (13-6-2022) thanks Shalini, Akila, Reid.

.


metamorphosis


... that's what they write in the newspaper

- about the growing up from inside to outside and so strange are the ways human beings get dissected. dew drops the lotus petals in the slush


.

Original:

.

metamorphosis


..... that's what they write in the newspaper about the growing up from inside to outside and so strange are the ways human beings get dissected and produced in the court of law


dew drops

on the lotus petals

in the slush


.


Feedback please


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Replying to

The prose sentence reads a bit off. Would you Consider these edits?


Metamorphosis (keep it)


Edit 1- start your sentence here:


Morning news.


Growing up from inside to outside, strange are the ways we get dissected.


Edit 2: you may or may not want to elaborate here?


Edit 3: if you decide to not elaborate then, replace the word 'petals' with a verb such as one that shows how the petals bloom. Example: 'unfurls'.


dew drops

the lotus petals (unfurls)

in the slush


Please confirm your final revisions.

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Firdaus Parvez
Firdaus Parvez
Jun 12, 2022

Wow! What a beautiful haibun! I loved her interview too. So much to learn from her writing. Thanks for sharing. :)

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Replying to

I think Vidya did a fabulous interview. Really enjoyed reading it.

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