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THE HAIBUN GALLERY: 2nd March '23 — a Thursday feature

Updated: Mar 2, 2023

Hosts: Firdaus Parvez and Kala Ramesh


poet of the month: Bob Lucky


2nd March, 2023


Minutes of the First and Last Meeting of the Haiku Club of Bahrain


The British Club, Manama, Bahrain. President Salman Mahmood Hamad Al Mubarak called the meeting to order. Dress code was the topic for discussion. Should all women, Western and Muslim, wear hijab, shaila, or other head coverings to meetings? Agnes Moore pointed out the women were going to look “bloody ridiculous” in bikinis and headscarves at poolside meetings. Tala Al Yafi agreed. Richard Smith complained of the difficulty of writing haiku in Bahrain, noting in particular a clear lack of seasons. “I can never see my breath here, not even in January.” Nabeel Al Soofi added, “There is too much sand, too much fast cars.” Agnes noted that one has to drive all the way to Hamala just to see a “bloody camel.” Richard wanted to discuss ‘camel’ as a possible kigo, but everyone took Tala up on her offer to buy the first round at the pub, even Agnes, who made it clear she was only going to drink “bloody tea” and would leave if anyone started talking about the war in Iraq.


dusty sunset –

kids in the deep end

play Marco Polo


(Contemporary Haibun Online 3.3, Sept 2007; Contemporary Haibun #9, 2008; Dust of Summers: The Red Moon Anthology of English-Language Haiku, 2008)


We had the pleasure of asking Bob a few questions and he graciously took the time to answer them. Here's the first.


Q1:

THG: What gravitated you to start writing haibun?


Bob: I read Basho’s The Narrow Road to the Deep North when I was in high school, but I don’t think I was aware of the term haibun until decades later. I published my first haibun in Frogpond, Contemporary Haibun Online, and Haibun Today in 2007. I had been publishing haiku at the time and beginning to explore prose poetry. I was also addicted to travel. Haibun seemed an excellent way to combine those things. Of course, this observation is made in hindsight. The impetus to write haibun may well have been to experience haiku in a different way, to not be limited to three lines or one breath.


More about Bob:

Bob Lucky’s work has appeared in Rattle,MacQueen’s Quinterly, Otoliths, SurVision, Flash, Modern Haiku, The Other Bunny, Drifting Sands Haibun, Contemporary Haibun Online, Die Leere Mitte, and other journals.


His chapbook of haibun, tanka prose, and prose poems, Ethiopian Time (Red Bird Chapbooks, 2014), was an honorable mention in the Touchstone Book Awards. His chapbook Conversation Starters in a Language No One Speaks (SurVision Books, 2018) was a winner of the James Tate Poetry Prize in 2018. He is also the author most recently of a collection of prose poems, haibun, and senryu, My Thology: Not Always True But Always Truth (Cyberwit, 2019); and an e-chapbook, What I Say to You (proletaria.org, 2020).


He lives in Portugal.


Your Challenge:

Bob's haibun made me chuckle; I've been to Bahrain and can endorse some of those things. Your challenge this week is to bring humour to your poems. Take us on a journey perhaps and introduce us to odd/interesting people along the way. Kala and I look forward to meeting them. (You may also write outside of this challenge) Have fun!


As always, a good haibun will find its way into the next issue of our fabulous journal. Kala and I are eagerly looking forward to reading your haibun.


Keith Polette is the mentor for THE HAIBUN GALLERY from 16 December 2022.


Thank you, Keith


PLEASE NOTE:

1. Only two haibun per poet per prompt. Please put your name and country of residence under your poem, it makes the editors' work easier. Thanks.

2. Share your best-polished pieces.

3. Please do not post something in a hurry or something you have just written.

Let it simmer for a while.

4. When poets give suggestions and if you agree to them - post your final edited version on top of your original version.

5. Don't forget to give feedback on others' poems.


We are delighted to open the comment thread for you to share your unpublished haibun (within 300 words) to be considered for inclusion in the haikuKATHA monthly journal.

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132 comentarios


mona bedi
mona bedi
08 mar 2023

Post #2


Face off


After doing up my eyes, I start with the face. It’s the concealer first. Just at the corner of the eyes. Then comes the foundation. It has to be a bit lighter than the skin colour. Time now for contouring. Do I need to chisel my nose?? I apply just a little. Lastly the blush. What colour will go with a black dress? Confused,I put on a bright pink shade. I wear a pink on my lips too.

To be sure of my look, I video call my daughter. “Mom, what have you done to your face?” she laughs.

I go and wash off the make up. Just kajal and a lip balm shall suffice for…


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Kala Ramesh
Kala Ramesh
06 mar 2023

CHECK OUT THE SELECTED HAIBUN PIECES FOR haikuKATHA - Issue 17, March 2023!

https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/celebration

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edit 2 in response to Firdaus

feedback appreciated

Edit 2


The Craftsmanship


He sculpts on paper. Choosing carefully he creates textures, porcelain-smooth where you want to linger, and knife-sharp cutting to the bone. Story through story; the past and the present into the myriad colours of our human experience. His sentences, crowning the ordinary.


drip drip drip

eroding the rock

repetition of words


edit one thanks to reid and Diana


The Craftsmanship


He sculpts on paper. Choosing carefully he creates textures, porcelain-smooth and jagged, cutting to the bone. Story through story; the past and the present into the myriad colours of our human experience. His sentences, crowning the ordinary.


drip drip drip

eroding the rock

repetition of words


The Craftsmanship


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Contestando a

i dont know Bonnie. the drips erode the rock and the words erode men. in your ku it is the words that are erodingthe men. and of course hard men can be brainwashed by repetition.

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Two weeks to forget


On the day the dentist pulls out his tooth he receives a speeding fine in the mail. He’d had a cataract removed and his retina scraped two weeks before. At that time, he hadn’t realized that an abscess was forming under his front tooth and his face ballooned. We hardly recognised him. As no dental work was allowed for two weeks after eye surgery due to possible infection, he was put on a course of anti-biotics but developed thrush from one end to the other.


dust devil

touchdown on the other side

of the moon


(Revised thanks to Bonnie)


Two weeks to forget


On the day the dentist pulled out his tooth he received a speeding…


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Firdaus Parvez
Firdaus Parvez
08 mar 2023
Contestando a

Gosh what a devastating time for the poor guy. Kala has suggested some good edits. Too many ‘hads’ tend to be jarring to the reader. Avoid as many as you can. Here are my suggestions (very close to kala’s)


Two Weeks to Forget


On the day the dentist pulls out his tooth he receives a speeding fine in the mail. He had a cataract removed and his retina scraped two weeks before. At that time, he didn’t know about the abscess forming under his front tooth. When his face ballooned, we hardly recognised him. As no dental work was allowed for two weeks after eye surgery, he was put on antibiotics but developed thrush from one end to the other.


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Kala Ramesh
Kala Ramesh
03 mar 2023

Could all the haibuneers who have submitted your haibun, comment on all the haibun posted here? Thank you. One way is ... Comment on all the haibun first, before you post yours? That is the only way to play fair. You give before you take :)))

Shall we practice this principal here?


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Contestando a

Your second paragraph Bonnie is spot on. What is the point of feedback if it stops at the bad points.

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