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THE HAIBUN GALLERY: 2nd January 2025. Haibun analysis

Writer's picture: Kala RameshKala Ramesh

hosts: Kala Ramesh & Firdaus Parvez

A Thursday Feature 2nd January, 2025



HAPPY 2025! HAPPY 2025!

HAPPY 2025!


Memories of a Lunch


hard rain

the sound of Hindi film songs

from the kitchen


One day in Chiang Mai a colleague invites me to lunch at a nameless Indian restaurant not far from the Sikh gurudwara. A Punjabi widow has set up two tables in her front room and dishes out whatever she’s got on the stove in the kitchen, always a dal, another vegetable dish, raita, and fresh chapattis that disappear quickly from the communal bread basket. I speak to her in my rusty, formal Hindi. She tells me about her late husband, her two married sons who live nearby in the town of Lamphun, her life in Delhi, her move to Thailand. My Hindi is not quite up to the task, and she periodically slips into Punjabi, but I do my best to keep up and manage to answer questions about my family. Putting on my shoes to leave, I notice the picture of the Thai King next to a portrait of Guru Nanak.


sticky afternoon

the heavy fragrance

of frangipani


Bob Lucky

Read the analysis of this haibun here, by Mathew Caratti:



Challenge:

Does any point in the haibun (given above) strike you as important? See how Bob merges and weaves in two cultures, languages, and thought processes.

Challenging?

It's the New Year—start afresh!

Try something new!

Have fun!


Please remember that the haiku needs to be strong and a stand-alone poem in a haibun. A weak haiku eats into your haibun's strength.

Even haibun outside this prompt can be shared.



PLEASE NOTE:

1. Only two haibun per poet per prompt.

2. Share your best-polished pieces.

3. Please do not post something in a hurry or something you have just written.

    Let it simmer for a while.

4. Post your final edited version on top of your original verse.

5. Don't forget to give feedback on others' poems.


We are delighted to open the comment thread for you to share your unpublished haibun (within 300/250 words) to be considered for inclusion in haikuKATHA monthly journal.


Important: Since we're swamped with submissions, and our editors are only human, mistakes can happen. Please, please, remember to put your name, followed by your country, below each poem, even after revisions. It helps our editors; they won't have to type it in, saving them from potential typos. Thanks a ton!


~~~~~~~


PLEASE NOTE:

1. Only two haibun per poet per prompt. Please put your name and country of residence under your poem, it makes the editors' work easier. Thanks.

2. Share your best-polished pieces.

3. Please do not post something in a hurry or something you have just written.

Let it simmer for a while.

4. When poets give suggestions and if you agree to them - post your final edited version on top of your original version.

5. Don't forget to give feedback on others' poems.


We are delighted to open the comment thread for you to share your unpublished haibun (within 300 words) to be considered for inclusion in the haikuKATHA monthly journal.

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187 Comments


Tropical Travellers


Our little family was a funny sight on the train up Mt. Titlis. We were bundled up with mufflers, monkey caps, woollen sweaters, gloves, thick socks, et all, while the rest of the travellers seemed to be dressed like it was spring—which it was. ‘Brrr! It’s this cold in June? Imagine December’, I remarked to my parents and my dad pulled out another muffler and wrapped it around his head!


The temperature fell steadily as we climbed up the mountain, and we huddled together as the green pastures gave way to snow. The world was white with bright yellow dots of paragliders. I imagined Heidi, a beloved character from a book, prancing in her little frock, with her…


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#1, 6/01, trying a Terbalik


coins clattering

in my piggy bank

mom's unfinished wish


conscious conscience


Lakshmi Iyer, India

Feedback welcome

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Terbalik = haiku followed by a prose line on a trek 

the light

fireflies’ gift 


the seamless sky 


Kala Ramesh #1 Feedback welcome.


Edited
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Replying to

Just one break, Kanjini. After the sentence haiku.


on a trek  the light

fireflies’ gift 

/

the seamless sky 

Edited
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5/1/25 #2


Shatterpoints


Some nights, her mind whispers with the sharp edges of broken things—a kaleidoscope of thoughts spinning too fast to hold. At six, she thought she could outrun the dark, sprinting barefoot through the neighbourhood until her soles blistered. Her friend once called her a hummingbird for the way she flitted, restless, between school projects and friendships. But when the silences came, her wings grew too heavy. One winter, she smashed every mirror in the house, claiming the reflections were strangers. She left the shards where they fell, watching the light splinter and scatter like unspoken truths.


frosted window—

a restless bird’s wings

caught in the pane


Her girlfriend’s arms are constellations, the scars mapping places she can’t…


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Replying to

Ah! Luci. I have had the sad experience of encountering something like that on one of my train journeys home. The sound is significant in such an incident. It stands out. As a passenger that's what you witness, the sound, not anything else. Days later, I was told by a daily commuter that it was a young person who had given up when her mother passed away just before Christmas, finding life difficult to bear, being on her own.

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mona bedi
mona bedi
Jan 05

Post #1

5.1.25


All about smiles


Traveling to Prague, I am excited and nervous at the same time. The feel of a new country, new people and diverse languages is unbeatable. As we venture on the walking tour I can’t help but marvel at the rich history on display. The Prague Castle dominates the skyline. The Clementinum boasts of beautiful baroque architecture, stunning library, astronomical towers and picturesque courtyards.

r

a f u r of maple leaves

l y

down the street

spring breeze


The guide is speaking in Czech with a smattering of English. “Dobré ráno” he says to our group with a smile. “Je krásný den… yes?” he continues gesturing with his hands towards the blue sunny sky.…


Edited
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mona bedi
mona bedi
Jan 06
Replying to

Thank you Luci!

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