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THE HAIBUN GALLERY: 1st September — a Thursday feature

Hosts: Firdaus Parvez and Kala Ramesh

1st September 2022


This week we begin and end with two quotes:


You can tear a poem apart to see what makes it tick . . . You’re back with the mystery of having been moved by words. The best craftsmanship always leaves holes and gaps . . . so that something that is not in the poem can creep, crawl, flash or thunder in. – Dylan Thomas



Poetry is thoughts that breathe, and words that burn. – Thomas Gray

Give us a haibun that breathes and burns and thunders into your readers' minds!! Go for it!

As always, a good haibun will find its way into the next issue of our fabulous journal. Firdaus and I are eagerly looking forward to reading your haibun.


PLEASE NOTE:

1. Only two haibun per poet per prompt.

2. Share your best-polished pieces.

3. Please do not post something in a hurry or something you have just written. Let it simmer for a while.

4. When poets give suggestions and if you agree to them - post your final edited version on top of your original version.

5. Don't forget to give feedback on others' poems.


We are delighted to open the comment thread for you to share your unpublished haibun (within 300 words) to be considered for inclusion in the haikuKATHA monthly journal.



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134 Comments


mona bedi
mona bedi
Sep 06, 2022

Premeditatio Malorum* The chemoport starts to itch. The second session of chemo is over. Now for the nausea, low blood counts and the bone pains. She had feared this illness long before it struck. To think about the worst that can happen to you before it actually happens doesn’t prepare you for what finally comes. chipped nail the uneasiness that refuses to go * It's the stoic exercise of imagining things that could go wrong or be taken away from us. It helps us prepare for life's inevitable setbacks.


Feedback appreciated:)

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Kala Ramesh
Kala Ramesh
Sep 05, 2022

Poetry in Rustling Leaves


I just returned after being with my parents for a month. My mother is 85 years old. I notice every shade of emotion running along her wrinkles as she narrates incidents from her childhood days ... and I don't miss the mischievous sparkle in her eyes that tells me she also remembers the times she has repeated these stories to me.

and the game goes on

n bi on t e n

u r s h f c

s d e e playing musical chairs


feedback, please. _()_


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Kala Ramesh
Kala Ramesh
Sep 06, 2022
Replying to

You need to go/read with the three bumps!

And it needs to be read on a comp and not on your phone!


n bi on t e n

u r s h f c

s d e e

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Rupa Anand
Rupa Anand
Sep 05, 2022

Revised 1(with input from Kala)

Title Self Edit - Sept 8th


Round the Clock

The alarm rings at four. Pump on, the gush of running water fills her ears.

it’s dawn—

snores of indifference

dance with the early light

She walks a mile to her job where she sweeps, mops and dusts. At mid-day, lunch is a hot meal, followed later with a cup of tea and rusks.

Those limpid eyes of the stray cow look up, as she gently nudges the papaya skins off her hand. The heavy smell of cheap rum hits her when she returns home. She sits cross-legged to clean the 25 kilos of wheat grain given free at the ration shop.

It’s a holiday…


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Priti Aisola
Priti Aisola
Sep 07, 2022
Replying to

The revised version reads well.

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Reid Hepworth
Reid Hepworth
Sep 04, 2022

Revision: Thank you, Florence!


Instinct


I see him every day at recess. He sits by himself on the floor by the boys entrance. He doesn’t eat, he just sits quietly and keeps to himself. I think he’s like me. Lonely.


whispers in the playground I push past my butterflies


Over the next few days, I make sure to smile at him as I walk past. He doesn’t acknowledge me and instead stares right through me. Nothing new there. I remain committed and keep at it until he finally looks at me. I have to admit it’s not the most welcoming look, but I take it as an invitation and plop down beside him on the floor. I do all the…


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mona bedi
mona bedi
Sep 05, 2022
Replying to

Happens all the time!

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open to feedback

i have never written anything like this.I hope it counts as Haibun. inspired by life experience and a walk on the beach. also inspired by Diana's last post.

Healing

sea asters flowering and

sew thistles in seed

September on the shore


I am in the sea and the sea is in me.

rising from the deep

a bloated dog

and a headless seal

Waves roll in, waves roll out, shifting shores. Quick sand. The suck of it.

empty shells,

the sting of the

dead jelly fish

Going down… down… down…

pirate ship

sunk to the depths —

treasure chest

Waves roll in waves roll out, surrender to the currents. The pull of them.

the churning

sorrow

transfigures…

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Replying to

You have not upset me but encouraged me to keep working with this. Was thinking of delving into the emotions in the prose then seeing if the haiku can work with a sea theme in haiku. The sea is evidentially seen as an allegory for the subconscious. I have a week off very soon so Hope inspiration comes then. I am not able to work on it at the moment and hope I can offer it for critique when the this week of prompts ends.

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