RENKU: linked collaborative verses: TRIPARSHVA 2

Sabaki (lead poet) - Linda Papanicolaou

TRIPARSHVA RENKU - Post 2

SABAKI: L I N D A P A P A N I C O L A O U

POST 2. 5th JUNE 2022 ¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬ https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/renku-linked-collaborative-verses

Check our 1st post for the SCHEME and the link for seasonal words. We need a summer verse for WAKIKU. ¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬ SELECTION OF THE HOKKU—VERSE 1: Our Triparshva is off to a good strong start, with twenty people submitting offers for the hokku. Now that you’ve had a bit of experience, let me go into a bit more detail about this very important opening first of the renku. As Kala pointed out, the hokku is basically a haiku — a three-line verse with a season reference and a kire (cut). That said, because it performs a particular function in the Renku, it is a special kind of haiku. In opening this call for submissions, I likened the opening of a renku to guests arriving a party. For the party to be successful, the hokku not only anchors us in place and season, it also is a “call to renku” that creates an auspicious beginning for our renku. Among all the lovely submissions for our hokku, the two that offered the most promise were submitted by Firdaus: house warming … a sharp scent of raw mangoes over the perfumes one dish party … all the flavours of summer on a dining table Now, one thing about Renku is that Sabaki may make adjustments or edits to a verse in order to make it fit well into its place. I would like to do that here—if it is alright with the author. I would like to use “housewarming…” as our first line while swapping in “all the flavours of summer / on a dining table” from the other verse:

house warming … all the flavours of summer on a dining table / Firdaus Parvez This gives us a season and the place, and the welcoming atmosphere of a dining table laid out with bounty as refreshments. The housewarming becomes a metaphor for the Triveni website itself, and the community that everyone is building here. I hope you will agree, and join me in thanking Firdaus for starting us off on such a warm and auspicious beginning for the renku. A note about all the other verses that were submitted: in a post farther down on the thread, I said that anything you write for the renku that does not get used should be taken home as a “pocket verse. “ and in a quieter moment afterwards thought about, reworked as needed, and if you so choose to submit it to a journal as a standalone haiku. Please do not do that until the Renku is completed though. There is also such a thing as a sabaki‘s putting a verse “in the sleeve,” meaning that there may come a time later in the word renku when that first is exactly what is needed. I have my eye on several verses that may be useful for the monsoon, love, moon, and blossom verses. I will also use a few in our call for the wakiku— the next verse—to demonstrate linking from the hokku to the verse that follows it. CALL FOR WAKIKU— VERSE 2 1. The verse that links to the hokku will be a two-line verse, again with a summer season reference. 2. The length of both lines should approximate line two of the hokku. Each line of the waki should be no shorter than five syllables and no longer than seven, with an ideal of 6 syllables in each. This is how it should look - hokku and waki together: S L S L L 3. There should not be a kire / cut. (A sentence ku is what is needed - not a haiku with a punctuation - please NOTE!) 4. This verse should support the hokku by amplifying its imagery. What more do you see in that scene of the housewarming party that is not explicitly depicted? You could say more about the food on the table, someone who is present at the party, the time of day or evening, the scent or sounds that we experience as we’re gathering. To show you the different ways the wakiku might do this, I have taken the liberty of using some of the verses that were submitted for hokku, editing them to two lines, and placing them with the chosen hokku so you can see what the paired verses look like. Those of you who write tanka will immediately see the likeness to tanka, except that the cut between the third and fourth lines has become a break between verses, and the change of authorship is more open. Here are some examples of linking: Example 1 - wakiku adapted from Sushama Kapur, a “place” link that adds detail about the food on the table house warming … all the flavours of summer on a dining table with fistfuls and sprinklings the chutney spices up Example 2 - wakiku adapted from Margherita Petriccione: a “place” link in adding a patio and fountain, but also the guests house warming … all the flavours of summer on a dining table a patio fountain cools our whispered words Example 3 - wakiku adapted from Kanji Dev: also a “place” link in adding a shady tree, but hinting at the guests through their sandals. house warming … all the flavours of summer on a dining table worn sandals huddled in the shade of a tree Example 4 - wakiku adapted from Robert Kingston: a “place” link that goes to the sense of sound: house warming … all the flavours of summer on a dining table the sound of Bhangra beats throughout the building Once again, your submissions for wakiku (verse 2) should be a 2-line verse that supports and expands the imagery of the hokku. It should have a summer season reference, and there should not be a kire / cut. The length of both lines should approximate line two of the hokku. PS - Each line of the waki should be no shorter than five syllables and no longer than seven, with an ideal of 6 syllables in each line. Each participant may offer two submissions, posted together in the same comment, with your name as you would like it to appear in the renku. Instructions for submitting remain as last time. The deadline is 48 hours from now. We follow Indian Standard Time (IST). This POST will go up on 5th JUNE (Sunday) at 6 A.M. So on 7 JUNE at 6 A.M, the window closes (IST) All waki offers have to be posted on this thread BEFORE 6 A.M on 7th JUNE