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open sky :: SAMVAAD | 21st April

Aparna Pathak

hosts : Sanjuktaa Asopa & Aparna Pathak


post-vasectomy

this 'primal' urge

to overpunctuate


- Lew Watts

( Modern Haiku 48.2, 2017)



8件のコメント


sanjuktaa
2024年4月27日

Thank you all for your responses. Your active participation is always deeply appreciated.

いいね!

I am reminded of Lady Chatterley's Lover. Losing the ability to satisfy the "primal urge", if "urge" is to be interpreted as creation. Of course, "urge" could well refer to "physical pleasure". I see that I am unable to address the word "overpunctuate", unless I opt for a metaphor. The word brings up the image of a person learning to drive a stick shift car. He is not comfortable with the process of releasing the clutch. He is trying again and again. The car doesn't quite start rolling. The dynamics of creation is held on hold. Whatever the story may be, I like the poem.

編集済み
いいね!

Susan Yavaniski
Susan Yavaniski
2024年4月21日

Haha! Brilliant. So many layers, but first and foremost, from my reading: After a vasectomy, the patient feels a frequent need to urinate, but little urine actually comes out, just a dribble. Then there’s that primal urge to create, which for men is not the entire “ prose” of a child within the womb, but the moment, the punctuation, of ejaculation. Important, yes, for meaning and flow, but subservient perhaps, to the endeavor. Anyway, very clever, made me smile.

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いいね!

Paul Mena
Paul Mena
2024年4月21日

recuperating

Mommy tells the kids

Daddy killed the seed

いいね!

joanna ashwell
joanna ashwell
2024年4月21日

I see this one as the patient feeling the need to leave his mark in the world in new ways after his procedure.

いいね!
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