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HAIKUsutradhar : 30th December 2022

HAIKUsutradhar . weekly prompts

A FRIDAY FEATURE

Lev Hart becomes the MENTOR for HAIKUsutradhar from 21 November 2022. Thank you.


hosts: Akila G. & Shreya Narang

month of December: Shankara Jayanth



Textual prompt


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haikuKATHA - the monthly journal from Triveni Haikai India!

founder/managing editor: Kala Ramesh

associate editors:

Ashish Narain

Firdaus Parvez

Priti Aisola Reid Hepworth Sanjuktaa Asopa

Shalini Pattabiraman

Suraja Menon Roychowdhury Vandana Parashar


Haiku, senryu and haiga/shahai (photo haiku) posted here on this thread will be picked up for Triveni Haikai India's monthly journal - haikuKATHA At the moment we are not looking at found poetry.

................................................................................................................................. Associate Editors, Madhuri Pillai and Akila G. are stepping down for personal reasons. We wish them the very best. Associate Editors, K. Ramesh and Shobhana Kumar stepped down earlier in the year for personal reasons. A huge thank you to all four beautiful poets. Associate Editors, Reid Hepworth (from Oct 2022), Sanjuktaa Asopa (from 15 October 2022) and Hemapriya Chellappan (from Dec 2022) will be joining us. A huge welcome to all three lovely poets. _()_ ................................................................................................................................. For some more exciting news! CHECK THESE FORUMS ... Tanka, kyoka and tanka-prose to be posted on TANKA TAKE HOME and Haibun to be posted on THE HAIBUN GALLERY It will help you tremendously if you learn to comment on 'triveni spotlight' 'open sky :: SAMVAAD' and 'thinkALONG' Such good poems are posted. ................................................................................................................................... The poems you post will also be considered for the haikuKATHA Monthly Journal each month. Due to a sudden increase in activity, here are some quick guidelines, for HAIKUsutradhar:

1. From September 2022 onwards only 3 haiku (numbered 1, 2 & 3) per week/per prompt are to be posted on HAIKUsutradhar. 2. Please do not post two poems in one day /24 hours ... just one and in total only 3 poems per week from Friday to Friday.

2. For each poem you share, please comment on ONE other poem which isn't yours!

3. Post only your unpublished, original poems.

4. If poets have NOT ASKED for FEEDBACK, please don't give. ....................................................................................................................................

Post your best haiku and let's have each issue with your best work.

Poems previously published on your webpage or social media will be accepted.

Poems previously published in peer-reviewed or edited journals or anthologies and contest winners that were published elsewhere will not be accepted.


4. IMPORTANT: if any member provides feedback on the poem in the comment section, the poet must decide on the final version and post it on top of the original version.


Or else the original unedited version on your thread will be picked up by us.


On your comment thread, you need to post your revised final version (if you have one!)


Edited version: Your final version of the poem goes first, so it will be easy for our team to consider that for the haikuKATHA journal.

Original version: Your first version of the poem remains - under your final version. The way it is shown here.


***

The Prompt


openHALL Welcome to the openHALL. The last one for this year. So you may choose a favourite memory from the year that is about to get over or you may write about a hope or a dream that you have for 2023! An you may continue to dwell in for a week till the first friday of the first week of the first month of a new year. Another New Year! Another year for us to celebrate, cheer life with a small prayer of gratitude.


On that note, we the team of haikuSUTRADHAR thank all of you and hope that you all will continue and bring your friends too into this small haiku family. The more, the merrier!!


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495 Comments


stamp album—

a page from a country

that no longer is

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Replying to

oh, thank you Billie. Since this went in, just under the wire, and is now past history, I did not know if anyone would see it much. Appreciate your feedback.

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Ron Russell
Ron Russell
Jan 05, 2023

#3


corrugated sand

beneath the moonlit palm

a shanty


Advise please.

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Replying to

Nice, Ron, and a good pivot. Since you asked advice, please, I am wondering if you are not quite satisfied with it. If so, one thing you might do is bring in other senses sound or scent for instance.

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Anju Kishore
Anju Kishore
Jan 05, 2023

#2


Revision:

(Thank you, Lev)

early mist

walking with headless

pines


***********?


early mist

walking bareheaded

with headless pines


(Feedback most welcome)

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Anju Kishore
Anju Kishore
Jan 06, 2023
Replying to

When one walks among the pines, they all look the same at eye level. So it feels like a set of trees is walking with you. Hence the 'with'. But if that idea has not been conveyed, then it doesn't work. Will put this ku on the backburner for now, Lev. Looks like it needs more work. I am grateful for your thought and precious time. Thank you.

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Arvinder Kaur
Arvinder Kaur
Jan 05, 2023

half-wakefulness the ping of first rejection


Revised version after Lev’s valuable suggestion. Was trying to post earlier but there was a technical glitch. And I lost this image. I ll go with this without the image.


Feedback welcome


Original


in half wakefulness the ping of first rejection


art : Unsplash


Feedback welcome. Is the font size too big ?

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Arvinder Kaur
Arvinder Kaur
Jan 06, 2023
Replying to

Yes kala I thought so too ! The image is lost in Unsplash and I am figuring out how I can erase the poem

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#3- 05/01/2023


powder sand... countless shades of clear blue


Feedback welcome:).

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