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HAIKUsutradhar : 25th November 2022

HAIKUsutradhar . weekly prompts

A FRIDAY FEATURE

Lev Hart becomes the MENTOR for HAIKUsutradhar from 21 November 2022. Thank you.


hosts: Akila G. & Shreya Narang

month of November: Susan Burch



Textual prompt


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haikuKATHA - the monthly journal from Triveni Haikai India!

founder/managing editor: Kala Ramesh

associate editors:

Ashish Narain

Firdaus Parvez

Priti Aisola Reid Hepworth Sanjuktaa Asopa

Shalini Pattabiraman

Suraja Menon Roychowdhury Vandana Parashar


Haiku, senryu and haiga/shahai (photo haiku) posted here on this thread will be picked up for Triveni Haikai India's monthly journal - haikuKATHA At the moment we are not looking at found poetry.

................................................................................................................................. Associate Editors, Madhuri Pillai and Akila G. are stepping down for personal reasons. We wish them the very best. Associate Editors, K. Ramesh and Shobhana Kumar stepped down earlier in the year for personal reasons. A huge thank you to all four beautiful poets. Associate Editors, Reid Hepworth (from Oct 2022), Sanjuktaa Asopa (from 15 October 2022) and Hemapriya Chellappan (from Dec 2022) will be joining us. A huge welcome to all three lovely poets. _()_ ................................................................................................................................. For some more exciting news! CHECK THESE FORUMS ... Tanka, kyoka and tanka-prose to be posted on TANKA TAKE HOME and Haibun to be posted on THE HAIBUN GALLERY It will help you tremendously if you learn to comment on 'triveni spotlight' 'open sky :: SAMVAAD' and 'thinkALONG' Such good poems are posted. ................................................................................................................................... The poems you post will also be considered for the haikuKATHA Monthly Journal each month. Due to a sudden increase in activity, here are some quick guidelines, for HAIKUsutradhar:

1. From September 2022 onwards only 3 haiku (numbered 1, 2 & 3) per week/per prompt are to be posted on HAIKUsutradhar. 2. Please do not post two poems in one day /24 hours ... just one and in total only 3 poems per week from Friday to Friday.

2. For each poem you share, please comment on ONE other poem which isn't yours!

3. Post only your unpublished, original poems.

4. If poets have NOT ASKED for FEEDBACK, please don't give. ....................................................................................................................................

Post your best haiku and let's have each issue with your best work.

Poems previously published on your webpage or social media will be accepted.

Poems previously published in peer-reviewed or edited journals or anthologies and contest winners that were published elsewhere will not be accepted.


4. IMPORTANT: if any member provides feedback on the poem in the comment section, the poet must decide on the final version and post it on top of the original version.


Or else the original unedited version on your thread will be picked up by us.


On your comment thread, you need to post your revised final version (if you have one!)


Edited version: Your final version of the poem goes first, so it will be easy for our team to consider that for the haikuKATHA journal.

Original version: Your first version of the poem remains - under your final version. The way it is shown here.


***

The Prompt


openHALL Welcome to the openHALL, as has been our practice to keep the last week of the month open in our heart and mind and let it pour out a haiku, from where ever you choose to draw an inspiration! We wait eagerly to read! So ready, steady and write!!



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550 Comments


Marcie Wessels
Marcie Wessels
Dec 02, 2022

#1


midnight —

a car door

dents the stillness

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Barrie Levine
Barrie Levine
Dec 03, 2022
Replying to

Good catch!

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Lev Hart
Lev Hart
Dec 01, 2022

Kala Ramesh is featured in The Haiku Foundation's "Haiku of the Day":


the year passes ...

longing for cranes

to colour the sky


https://thehaikufoundation.org/

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Xenia Tran
Xenia Tran
Dec 02, 2022
Replying to

Congratulations Kala, what a beautiful ku! Thank you so much for sharing this here Lev _()_

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Baisali
Baisali
Dec 01, 2022

#3

1/12/22


nothing left to say...

unused pages

in my diary


Feedback always welcome 🌸

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Baisali
Baisali
Dec 02, 2022
Replying to

Oh @Meera — what a generous thing to say! Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️

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kashiana.singh
kashiana.singh
Dec 01, 2022

#3

30 Nov

Thanks to Kala and Lev - modified version is so much better -


our last waltz

the rise and fall

of a humpback’s song


Original -

our last waltz

continuous rising and falling

of a humpback’s song


please share feedback

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kashiana.singh
kashiana.singh
Dec 02, 2022
Replying to

Loved it so much! Thank you

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#3- 30/11/2022


Revised (Thanks Lev):


in a valley of wildflowers this pinda... dotted mandala


Please let me know if this works- I know the long first line may be problematic?

Ps. Konkan pinda is a little flower found in the western ghats of Maharashtra, India. Since, I experienced this on the Kaas plateau which is Maharashtra's valley of flowers, I wanted to use the name of a flower endogenous to that region!


Original:

a flower carpet cloaks the valley... dotted mandala


Feedback always welcome:)

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Replying to

Thank you for this detailed feedback Lev.

This actually helps me understand why I myself wasn't completely satisfied with the ku, but was a little lost with how to edit it.

I understand better now. Will keep this in mind!

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