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HAIKUsutradhar: 21st July 2023 Baisali Chatterjee Dutt

Updated: Jul 25, 2023

HAIKUsutradhar. weekly prompts

A FRIDAY FEATURE

21st July Lev Hart, the mentor for HAIKUsutradhar, would be pleased to answer your questions and concerns.


host: Kala Ramesh

the month of May: Baisali Chatterjee Dutt


¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬ haikuKATHA - the monthly journal from Triveni Haikai India!

founder/managing editor: Kala Ramesh

associate editors:

Ashish Narain

Firdaus Parvez Hemapriya Chellappan

Priti Aisola Sanjuktaa Asopa

Shalini Pattabiraman

Suraja Menon Roychowdhury Vandana Parashar


Haiku, senryu and haiga/shahai (photo haiku) posted here on this thread will be picked up for Triveni Haikai India's monthly journal - haikuKATHA At the moment we are not looking at found poetry, rengay and other split sequences. Other than haiga, no photos are to be shared on our blog on account of storage/memory limitations.

................................................................................................................................. Our host for HAIKUsutradhar Akila G. has stepped down for personal reasons. Kala Ramesh is the acting host for some months now. Associate Editors, Madhuri Pillai, Akila G., K. Ramesh, Shobhana Kumar and Reid Hepworth have stepped down for personal reasons. We wish them the very best. A huge thank you to all our poets who have given so much of their time and expertise. . ........... For some more exciting news! CHECK THESE FORUMS: Tanka, kyoka and tanka-prose to be posted on TANKA TAKE HOME and Haibun to be posted on THE HAIBUN GALLERY Please do visit: 'triveni spotlight' 'open sky :: SAMVAAD' and 'thinkALONG' Good poems and challenges are posted in these forums. Check them out. ........

The poems you post will also be considered for the haikuKATHA Monthly Journal each month. Due to a sudden increase in activity, here are some quick guidelines, for HAIKUsutradhar:

1. From September 2022 onwards only 2 haiku (numbered 1& 2) per week/per prompt are to be posted on HAIKUsutradhar. 2. Please do not post two poems in one day/in 24 hours ... just one and in total only 3 poems per week from Friday to Friday.

2. For each poem you share, please comment on ONE or TWO other poem which isn't yours!

3. Post only your unpublished, original poems.

4. If poets have NOT ASKED for FEEDBACK, please do not give. 5. Most importantly, please do not post a variety of drafts, along with a request for readers to choose which they like most. Only one poem is to be posted. ............

Post your best haiku and let's have each issue with your best work.

Poems previously published on your webpage or social media will be accepted.

Poems previously published in peer-reviewed or edited journals or anthologies and contest winners that were published elsewhere will not be accepted.


6. IMPORTANT: if any member provides feedback on the poem in the comment section, the poet must decide on the final version and post it on top of the original version.

Or else the original unedited version on your thread will be picked up by us for the selection.


On your comment thread, you need to post your revised final version (if you have one!)


Edited version: Your final version of the poem goes first, so it will be easy for our team to consider that for the haikuKATHA journal.

Original version: Your first version of the poem remains - under your final version.


*** Third Prompt:


And the last one from me…an iconic poster of a movie with the name removed. I will say this though -- the movie once seen cannot be unseen (that should be quite a hint for those of you who have not seen it).

I have deliberately not given the name because I don’t want it to influence you.

For those of you who have recognised the movie from the poster, having the name and other text removed might help in just focusing on the image.

This movie itself was based on the novel of the same name, thus nicely rounding off what I have tried to do with the prompts this month.

I hope I have been able to suitably inspire you this July. I had a wonderful time curating this for HAIKUsutradhar and my deepest gratitude to Kala for asking me.


May you always stay inspired!

Baisali Chatterjee Dutt




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245 Comments


Vijay Prasad
Vijay Prasad
Jul 29, 2023

#1, one-word hyga,

28th July

Like

samir satam
samir satam
Jul 27, 2023

#1


edit 1 (based on Lev's feedback):


walking into light

the night grows darker

in my shadow


original:


blinding light ...

my shadow grows

darker


Or


blinding light ...

the night grows darker

in my shadow


(feedback please)

Like
Billie Dee
Billie Dee
Jul 29, 2023
Replying to

I think your haiku needs a caesura (cut or kireji) between L1 & 2. Otherwise it reads like a sentence or internal renku verse (other than the hokku). You might accomplish that by reinserting your ellipsis at the end of L1--telling the reader to take a little pause between the lines.

In some instances, kireji-less haiku are written successfully, but this is the exception. Maybe you already know this, so please excuse the didactics; this might be helpful info for those new Triveni members still learning about this fascinating/demanding poetic form. :)


---Billie


go here for more on kireji.

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Keith Evetts
Keith Evetts
Jul 27, 2023

#2 27 July


drawing out

the demon in me

first light


comments always welcome...

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Billie Dee
Billie Dee
Jul 29, 2023
Replying to

Well, now I'm warned. . . 8-}

Fine writing, Keith. Your unexpected message and humor are wickedly appreciated.


---Billie


kigo=first light, i.e., New Year's dawn


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Ranice Tara
Ranice Tara
Jul 25, 2023

25/07/2023


2.


Suggestions welcome!


like me

the night wind

sleepless

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Ranice Tara
Ranice Tara
Jul 26, 2023
Replying to

Thank you!

Like

no longer

the man she married—

Veterans Day


#1

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Keith Evetts
Keith Evetts
Jul 27, 2023
Replying to

Nicely ambivalent. Elicits sympathy both for her and for him.

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