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HAIKUsutradhar : 18th November 2022

Updated: Nov 21, 2022

HAIKUsutradhar . weekly prompts

A FRIDAY FEATURE

Lev Hart becomes the MENTOR for HAIKUsutradhar from 21 November 2022. Thank you.


hosts: Akila G. & Shreya Narang

month of November: Susan Burch



Textual prompt


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haikuKATHA - the monthly journal from Triveni Haikai India!

founder/managing editor: Kala Ramesh

associate editors:

Ashish Narain

Firdaus Parvez

Priti Aisola Reid Hepworth Sanjuktaa Asopa

Shalini Pattabiraman

Suraja Menon Roychowdhury Vandana Parashar


Haiku, senryu and haiga/shahai (photo haiku) posted here on this thread will be picked up for Triveni Haikai India's monthly journal - haikuKATHA At the moment we are not looking at found poetry.

................................................................................................................................. Associate Editors, Madhuri Pillai and Akila G. are stepping down for personal reasons. We wish them the very best. Associate Editors, K. Ramesh and Shobhana Kumar stepped down earlier in the year for personal reasons. A huge thank you to all four beautiful poets. Associate Editors, Reid Hepworth (from Oct 2022), Sanjuktaa Asopa (from 15 October 2022) and Hemapriya Chellappan (from Dec 2022) will be joining us. A huge welcome to all three lovely poets. _()_ ................................................................................................................................. For some more exciting news! CHECK THESE FORUMS ... Tanka, kyoka and tanka-prose to be posted on TANKA TAKE HOME and Haibun to be posted on THE HAIBUN GALLERY It will help you tremendously if you learn to comment on 'triveni spotlight' 'open sky :: SAMVAAD' and 'thinkALONG' Such good poems are posted. ................................................................................................................................... The poems you post will also be considered for the haikuKATHA Monthly Journal each month. Due to a sudden increase in activity, here are some quick guidelines, for HAIKUsutradhar:

1. From September 2022 onwards only 3 haiku (numbered 1, 2 & 3) per week/per prompt are to be posted on HAIKUsutradhar. 2. Please do not post two poems in one day /24 hours ... just one and in total only 3 poems per week from Friday to Friday.

2. For each poem you share, please comment on ONE other poem which isn't yours!

3. Post only your unpublished, original poems.

4. If poets have NOT ASKED for FEEDBACK, please don't give. ....................................................................................................................................

Post your best haiku and let's have each issue with your best work.

Poems previously published on your webpage or social media will be accepted.

Poems previously published in peer-reviewed or edited journals or anthologies and contest winners that were published elsewhere will not be accepted.


4. IMPORTANT: if any member provides feedback on the poem in the comment section, the poet must decide on the final version and post it on top of the original version.


Or else the original unedited version on your thread will be picked up by us.


On your comment thread, you need to post your revised final version (if you have one!)


Edited version: Your final version of the poem goes first, so it will be easy for our team to consider that for the haikuKATHA journal.

Original version: Your first version of the poem remains - under your final version. The way it is shown here.


***

The Prompt


This week we bring you an evergreen topic, something we would never get tired of, even if we have written about it earlier, we are sure you will have something new, each time you think of it...


Toy


Write about a toy from your childhood. It can be something you loved or something someone gave you & you didn’t like or just something you always wanted and never got. Use these memories as a springboard for your poems.



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450 Comments


lakshmi iyer
lakshmi iyer
Nov 25, 2022

#1/Nov 25, i think this ku shouldn't be here. Its a general one. I posted by mistake.

.

debutant dentist

my root canal filled

with speculations

.


Feedback if any.

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Disha Upadhyay
Disha Upadhyay
Nov 24, 2022

#2. 24.11.2022


laughter rings

through the blackout

pa's shadow theatre


(Feedback welcome)

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Dipankar Dasgupta
Dipankar Dasgupta
Nov 24, 2022

@Lev Hart Since you are the mentor for haikusutradhar, I want your help. Hope you will accept me as a mentee. I wrote a piece which Reid and Ron helped me alter. The version, as it stands now is,


old man riding a toy horse lucid dream My question is, am I not violating "show not tell" by bringing in "dream"?


An alternative possibility could be

grandpa's toy horse ride story

child giggles Can you please help?

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Dipankar Dasgupta
Dipankar Dasgupta
Nov 26, 2022
Replying to

I was a little unwell and could not sit up and think for long. Okay now. Your suggestion of transforming an adjective and a common noun to a proper noun is quite interesting. I had liked Ron' suggestion anyway. Only the "show not tell" suddenly started to bother me. All the best.

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Ku#2

241122


toy dinosaurs

a pile of memories

with my son

- Chittaluri


feedback welcome

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Barrie Levine
Barrie Levine
Nov 27, 2022
Replying to

Yes, all those model dinosaurs do get randomly piled up, I love the memory Image.

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#2 November 24, 2022


Revised thanks to feedback from Kala Maam


enclosed in his palm

a toy car with

one wheel missing


feedback welcome


enclosed in his palm...

a toy car with

one wheel missing


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Replying to

Thank you for the feedback, Kala mam. Now I see how the ellipsis isn't really needed here.

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