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HAIKUsutradhar : 16th December 2022

Updated: Dec 16, 2022

HAIKUsutradhar . weekly prompts

A FRIDAY FEATURE

Lev Hart becomes the MENTOR for HAIKUsutradhar from 21 November 2022. Thank you.


hosts: Akila G. & Shreya Narang

month of December: Sankara Jayanth



Textual prompt


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haikuKATHA - the monthly journal from Triveni Haikai India!

founder/managing editor: Kala Ramesh

associate editors:

Ashish Narain

Firdaus Parvez

Priti Aisola Reid Hepworth Sanjuktaa Asopa

Shalini Pattabiraman

Suraja Menon Roychowdhury Vandana Parashar


Haiku, senryu and haiga/shahai (photo haiku) posted here on this thread will be picked up for Triveni Haikai India's monthly journal - haikuKATHA At the moment we are not looking at found poetry.

................................................................................................................................. Associate Editors, Madhuri Pillai and Akila G. are stepping down for personal reasons. We wish them the very best. Associate Editors, K. Ramesh and Shobhana Kumar stepped down earlier in the year for personal reasons. A huge thank you to all four beautiful poets. Associate Editors, Reid Hepworth (from Oct 2022), Sanjuktaa Asopa (from 15 October 2022) and Hemapriya Chellappan (from Dec 2022) will be joining us. A huge welcome to all three lovely poets. _()_ ................................................................................................................................. For some more exciting news! CHECK THESE FORUMS ... Tanka, kyoka and tanka-prose to be posted on TANKA TAKE HOME and Haibun to be posted on THE HAIBUN GALLERY It will help you tremendously if you learn to comment on 'triveni spotlight' 'open sky :: SAMVAAD' and 'thinkALONG' Such good poems are posted. ................................................................................................................................... The poems you post will also be considered for the haikuKATHA Monthly Journal each month. Due to a sudden increase in activity, here are some quick guidelines, for HAIKUsutradhar:

1. From September 2022 onwards only 3 haiku (numbered 1, 2 & 3) per week/per prompt are to be posted on HAIKUsutradhar. 2. Please do not post two poems in one day /24 hours ... just one and in total only 3 poems per week from Friday to Friday.

2. For each poem you share, please comment on ONE other poem which isn't yours!

3. Post only your unpublished, original poems.

4. If poets have NOT ASKED for FEEDBACK, please don't give. ....................................................................................................................................

Post your best haiku and let's have each issue with your best work.

Poems previously published on your webpage or social media will be accepted.

Poems previously published in peer-reviewed or edited journals or anthologies and contest winners that were published elsewhere will not be accepted.


4. IMPORTANT: if any member provides feedback on the poem in the comment section, the poet must decide on the final version and post it on top of the original version.


Or else the original unedited version on your thread will be picked up by us.


On your comment thread, you need to post your revised final version (if you have one!)


Edited version: Your final version of the poem goes first, so it will be easy for our team to consider that for the haikuKATHA journal.

Original version: Your first version of the poem remains - under your final version. The way it is shown here.


***

The Prompt


House on a Hill Station

Imagine yourself staying in a house nestled between mountains in a lush spread of nature. Imagine you have nothing serious to worry about, no, just imagine it for a while even if it is unrealistic. You wake up on a cold day (or any other weather setting you feel like imagining) and walk out of the house. What you see, where you go and what you do - imagine yourself in such a setting and write a haiku that is born from this exercise of imagination.

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605 Comments


Devoshruti Mandal
Devoshruti Mandal
Dec 23, 2022

#2

Edited -

.

bright day...

she steps out

in a smiley dress

.


Original -

.

she steps out with a smile dawn sky

.


Feedback please.

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Disha Upadhyay
Disha Upadhyay
Dec 23, 2022

#2. 23.12.2022

Revised, thank you Kala ma'am, and Ron!


crashing waves

white against the cliff...

my thoughts stand still


Original:

blue waves

crashing white against the cliff...

i stare down lost in thoughts


(Feedback welcome)

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Disha Upadhyay
Disha Upadhyay
Dec 23, 2022
Replying to

Yes, I agree with you. Thank you so much for guiding me, Ron!

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#1

sun-torn curtain

rays tearing the room

rising steam from hot te


Feedback most appreciated

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RS
RS
Dec 23, 2022
Replying to

Hi Ishmeet,


Lovely to read your poem. It has all the essential artistic material for a good poem. To clarify the image, you can build upon the words. Torn and tearing may not convey the feel you intend here. Of course, they can be used to imply differently, so you do have many rich possibilities. I suggest something like or even simpler:


sunlit curtain

billows of tea steam

fill my room


Or


tea steam

padding my room

a curtain of sun rays


Thank you, ❤️🙏


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lev hart
lev hart
Dec 22, 2022

Last year at this time, the week ended with 199 comments. This week, we've got 586 comments so far, and the week's not over. I think that's pretty impressive.

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wanda amos
wanda amos
Dec 23, 2022
Replying to

Thanks @Lev Hart for your helpful comments

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Barrie Levine
Barrie Levine
Dec 22, 2022

No. 3 – Dec 22, 2022


mountain pines

shift into shadow . . .

winter sunset


*your comments welcome

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Barrie Levine
Barrie Levine
Dec 22, 2022
Replying to

Thank you for your wonderful compliment JB 🌲

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