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HAIKUsutradhar : 14th March 2025

Writer: GauriGauri

A FRIDAY FEATURE


Host: Gauri Dixit

Prompter for February: Mona Bedi


OUR MISSION

1. To provide a new poetry workshop each Friday, along with a prompt.

2. To select haiku, senryu, and haiga each month for the journal, haikuKATHA. Each issue will select poems that were posted in this forum from the 3rd of the previous month to the 2nd of the current month.


FEEDBACK GUIDELINES ( Included as a guideline, please do not be constrained by these while proving feedback )


Let the feedback be specific and constructive. Don’t be vague. Here are some helpful lines you could use to give feedback.


What is working for me :

1. The seasonal reference is good.

2. The image is very clear.

3. I love the internal rhythm.

4. When read aloud, the poem flows well.

5. The 'cut' which is so important in haiku is effectively done here.

6. I like the format ...it's short,long, short. Nice

7. I love the indent you have given


Points that aren't working for me:

1. The image is abstract

2. The lines are long.

3. Some words are redundant and can be safely removed.

4. The lightness of haiku isn't here.

5. Abstract words take away the haiku's charm

6. There is no 'cut' (kire) in this haiku.

7. There are two kigo (seasonal words) in this ku.

8. This is reading more like free verse.

9. This ku is reading as three separate lines. There is no connect.

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES

1. Post a maximum of two verses per week, from Friday to Friday, numbered 1 & 2. Post only one haiku in a day, in 24 hours.

2. Only post unpublished verses --- nothing that has appeared in peer-reviewed or edited journals, anthologies, your webpage, social media, etc.

3. Only post original verses.

4. For each poem you post, comment on one other person’s poem.

5. Give feedback only to those poets who have requested it.

6. Do not post a variety of drafts, along with a request for readers to choose which they like most. Only one poem is to appear in each original post.

7. Post each revision, if you have any, above the original. The top version will be your submission to haikuKATHA. Do not delete the original post.

8. Do not submit found poetry or split sequences.

9. Do not post photos, except for haiga.


10. haikuKATHA will only consider haiga that showcase original artwork or photos. Post details re: the source of the visual image. If you team up with an artist or photographer, make sure that it’s their original work and that they are not restricted by other publications to share it. We won't be responsible for any copyright issues.


11. Put your name, followed by your country, below each poem, even after revisions.


Poems that do not follow the guidelines may be deleted.

Founder/Managing Editor of haikuKATHA Monthly Journal: Kala Ramesh

Associate Editors: Ashish Narain Firdaus Parvez Priti Aisola Sanjuktaa Asopa Shalini Pattabiraman Suraja Menon Roychowdhury Vandana Parashar Vidya Shankar

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PROMPT:

14th March

Mona Bedi


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Week 2


The word equinox comes from the Latin words for “equal night”—aequus (equal) and nox (night). "Spring equinox" or "haru higan" is a classical kigo . The vernal or the spring equinox signals new beginnings and nature’s renewal in the Northern Hemisphere.


If there are areas of your life where you need change, this is a good time to act. For years, people have honored the religious and cultural significance of the arrival of spring. Whether it’s a parade, a festival or a communal meal, lots of countries have their own unique traditions, paying tribute to warmer climates and longer days.


I love to share with you all here a haiku by Issa:


_higan made to wa moosedomo samusa kana_


"fair weather by Spring's Equinox"

so they say ..

liars!


©️ Issa - 1823


This weeks prompt is : Vernal equinox

Here are some examples get the creative juices flowing.


twenty March —

this morning’s lesson is

Earth's axis tilt

— Angiola Inglese


equinox moon

the roll call of ancestors

in the oracle’s song

— Sonam Chhoki

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Looking forward to reading your haiku.

Write on! Gauri

166 Comments


Keith Evetts
Keith Evetts
5 hours ago

#2, 19 March


budding apple

the tip of each raindrop

bears a sunrise


Keith Evetts Thames Ditton UK

comments welcome


Like

Kalyanee
Kalyanee
19 hours ago

18.03.2025

#2


spring equinox —

still at the tilted side

of the balance sheet


Kalyanee Arandhara

Assam, India


Feedback most welcome

Like
Kalyanee
Kalyanee
13 hours ago
Replying to

Thanks Joanna.

Like

#2

Edit (Thanks to Rupa)

spring equinox

she walks a tightrope

between


dipankar (দীপংকর)

India


Feedback welcome.


spring equinox

she walks tightrope

with both


dipankar (দীপংকর)

India


Feedback welcome.


Edited
Like
Replying to

Thank you Rupa. The absence of an article in L2 looks odd indeed. What I had in mind was "tightrope walking". So, "tightrope" for me was not quite a noun. Whether correctly used or not, "tightrope" in L2 was meant be read as an adverb. After reading your comment, however, I checked up the Cambridge Dictionary and found that "walking a tightrope" is a common idiom. Your suggestion was helpful and I have edited L2 in conformity with the idiomatic usage.


Regarding L3, I have been thinking, not just now, but for several months. To the extent that I have understood this art form, a haiku should speak through simple, succinct and suggestive (SSS) images. Those alone. It's the last…


Edited
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Billie Dee
Billie Dee
2 days ago

#2---17Mar25🍀


St. Paddy's Day

the alfalfa field

just starting to green


---Billie Dee, New Mexico, USA

(feedback welcome)

Edited
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joanna ashwell
joanna ashwell
14 hours ago
Replying to

Great imagery and word 'falfalfa' Billie. Nicely done for St Patrick's Day.

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mona bedi
mona bedi
2 days ago

Post #2

17.3,25


thinking of you

day and night

vernal equinox 


Mona Bedi

India


Feedback appreciated:)


Like
Replying to

I like its simplicity and think of it with layers, Mona.

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