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haikaiTALKS: a saturday gathering! one-line tanka!

Updated: Jul 23, 2023

haikaiTALKS: ONE-LINE TANKA - a saturday gathering_under the banyan tree


host: Kala Ramesh

22nd July 2023

Yeah! Another exciting week ahead!!


I have a new request and a suggestion to make.

Can you share a one-line tanka that you've enjoyed & tell your readers why you liked it and how you understood it?

Examples of 1-line tanka:



For your own poems: Only TWO one-line tanka per week, per prompt, per poet.

First post: You'll search and find a one-line tanka, you like.

You'll give your reason/s why you like it. Second post: This will be your first one-line tanka.


Third post: This will be your second one-line tanka.

Please give your feedback on others' commentary and poems too. _()_


Have fun! Keep writing and commenting!

413 views207 comments

207 Comments


Arvinder Kaur
Arvinder Kaur
Jul 28, 2023

#2

Revision after suggestion from Kala. Wonder if it works as I shortened it a little.


dawn dream about loved ones my hands joined in a prayer when I wake up


Original :

dawn dream about loved ones eyes moist,my hands joined in a prayer

when I wake up


Feedback most welcome

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Arvinder Kaur
Arvinder Kaur
Jul 29, 2023
Replying to

I felt dawn dream has an alliteration about it. I like your suggestions too thanks kala.

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Arvinder Kaur
Arvinder Kaur
Jul 28, 2023

#1


silver anklets tinkling by the riverside in broad daylight I dream of my father

whistling his favourite tune


--Lakshami Iyer


Loved this poem by Lakshami for the beautiful image and the flow of the tanka.


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lakshmi iyer
lakshmi iyer
Jul 29, 2023
Replying to

Thank you @Arvinder Kaur! I am honoured here.

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#3 25/7


a walled courtyard in the nursing home no way to climb this mountain of insecurity


Feedback welcome

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Kala Ramesh
Kala Ramesh
Jul 27, 2023
Replying to

I think you have something going here, Firdaus. Lorraine, I wish you get to see this.

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marilyn ashbaugh
marilyn ashbaugh
Jul 25, 2023

3 24/7/24 feedback welcome


rev. 2 thank you Firdaus!


a skein of geese off the cattail coast unraveling the wild part of me

<<<>>>


rev 1 self-edit ( after Kala's question)


a skein of geese off the cattail coast unravels the wild part of me


<<<<>>>>


a skein of geese off the cattail coast the wild part of me

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marilyn ashbaugh
marilyn ashbaugh
Jul 28, 2023
Replying to

Firdaus,


Thank you! A good suggestion I will ponder.

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Billie Dee
Billie Dee
Jul 24, 2023

1st attempt---24July23


twilight teaching the mockingbird a new song iPhone-14Pro ring tone


---Billie


feedback welcome

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Firdaus Parvez
Firdaus Parvez
Jul 27, 2023
Replying to

I chuckled while reading this. Good one!

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