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haikaiTALKS: a saturday gathering! ONE-LINE haiku

Updated: Mar 26, 2023

haikaiTALKS: ONE-LINE HAIKU - a saturday gathering_under the banyan tree


host: Richa Sharma


25th March 2023


First Line


In the first post, Alan Summers mentioned: “Whether we write 3-line or 1-line haiku or even haibun etc..., the written line is such an important part of a writer's armoury.”


So true!


A single line is the basic unit of all forms. The line is the very instrument through which the thought is expressed, giving us a self. The very self that separates us from others. Did you ever feel the “tension” in reading a line? A line is where perception happens. There is not just movement, but also stillness. ¹


Robert Lowell said, “It's much easier to write a good poem than a good line.”


What makes you pen the first line?


The following article by Alan Summers was published in December 2016.


Travelling the single line of haiku - one line haiku / monoku / monostich



You can also view and listen to Alan explaining the following amazing 1-line haiku:


soonlight it switches the night snowfell


lost & found the boy in the bedroom jumble sale (posted at Triveni)


the bell jar still sings Sylvia Plath


nightfall the key turns into a blackbird



I liked another one-line haiku by Alan

sun off stubble a train in its landscape


Alan Summers

otata 4 ed. John Martone

(April 2016)


I hope you are enjoying the magic of one-line poems. Your feedback is truly appreciated.


Source


1.


Hass, Robert. A Little Book on Form: An Exploration Into the Formal Imagination of Poetry. HarperCollins, 2017. Print.


Thank you!


Sincerely,

Richa


537 views173 comments

173 Comments


turning tide thorns from wounds


joining very late. Not sure what I am doing.

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Alan Summers
Alan Summers
Apr 22, 2023
Replying to

Hi Florence,

You might like to post this on today's haikuTALKS one-line feature here:

https://www.trivenihaikai.in/post/haikaitalks-a-saturday-gathering-one-line-haiku-26


My only immediate suggestion is the definite article between 'tides' and 'thorns'?


warm regards,

Alan

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Kala Ramesh
Kala Ramesh
Apr 01, 2023

Richa,


Not able to find your April 1st post. Waiting to hear from you. I know you had said you had uploaded April 1 & 8. Not able to locate them anywhere on WIX

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RS
RS
Apr 01, 2023
Replying to

Kala, they will be there as promised. I thought your post on tercets is up next. My humble suggestion is that you can upload your post next week and my 8th April post can go online on 15th. That would also be a good change.


Kind regards,

Richa


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Keiko Izawa
Keiko Izawa
Mar 31, 2023

Richa,

Before you leave, I’d like to say thank you again for all the sincere assistance extended to us. I really enjoyed working with you on my first attempted one-liners, and learned a lot from you.


Also, could you tell me the names of your favorite South Indian food again? I want to try😋

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Keiko Izawa
Keiko Izawa
Mar 31, 2023
Replying to

I copied those food names this time. I will definitely try to find them💓

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lakshmi iyer
lakshmi iyer
Mar 30, 2023

#2

.


autumn crow the dusk sleeps ahead


.

Is this ok? Feedback please

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lakshmi iyer
lakshmi iyer
Mar 31, 2023
Replying to

Thank you Kala. I shall think about it.

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Final revised version: since everybody liked the shaped poem so much, I will submit it as my final version. The problem I had with it is that the wording did not make sense when it was revised to fit the shape. Here is a bit of wordsmithing, keeping the moon shape (and a bonus: try pairing the lines: 1 and 5, 2 and 4 according to the degree of indentation there’s another poem that’s kind of impressionistic: “snow town… moon on mountain…rooftops).


snow

moon on

rooftops

mountain

town


———


First revision:


snow moon the rooftops of a mountain town


First version:


snow moon the rooftops of a mountain town


#1

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Kala Ramesh
Kala Ramesh
Mar 29, 2023
Replying to

Excellent suggestion, Richa.

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