haikaiTALKS: a saturday gathering! 16th November

haikaiTALKS: | a saturday gathering_under the banyan tree

host: Lev Hart 16th November 2024

haikaiTALKS: a saturday gathering_under the banyan tree

TORIAWASE

Your host for haikaiTALKS Lev Hart

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TORIAWASE

Donald Keene is referring to an aspect of toriawase when he observes, “One of the ideals of the haiku was to have each word indispensable.”

Mona Bedi’s haiku achieves this ideal:

       first snow —

       I finally adopt

       the stray

       (haikaiTALKS, w/e 6th July)

Every word in Mona’s haiku is essential. If any one of them were deleted, the verse would be reduced to nothing. While adverbs, for example, are characteristically expendable during the revision process, the word “finally” adds a touch of light humour, karumi, that is the heart of this ku. The adverb suggests that the poet has been dwelling on the question for some time. The change in season has now brought the question to a crisis point. But whose crisis? Does the dog need to be saved, or does the poet need to save the dog? Mona’s haiku, in classic haiku tradition, is ambiguous --- whimsically ambiguous. 

Just as the verse would seem imperfect with one word less, it would also appear so with one word extra. Our goal this week is to write two haiku, with not one word more or less than what is essential. Before you post, examine each word in your haiku, asking, "Would the haiku survive without this word?" If the answer is yes, delete the word. Avoid stock phrases and shopworn images. Remember the kigo.

“A Dictionary of Haiku Classified by Season Words with Traditional and Modern Methods,” by Jane Reichhold:

https://thehaikufoundation.org/omeka/files/original/7fb6654a1dfd1afef97369da920530f8.pdf

indian subcontinent SAIJIKI:

https://www.trivenihaikai.in/indian-saijiki

The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words:

http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html

The World Kigo Database:

https://wkdkigodatabase03.blogspot.com/

The Yuki Teikei Haiku Season Word List:

https://yths.org/season-word-list/

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Thank you for doing this for us, Lev.

Members,

Please give your feedback on others' commentary and poems too. _()_

This is an exciting phase for haikaiTALKS! Have fun! Keep writing and commenting! _kala