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haikaiTALKS: a saturday gathering! 15th June

haikaiTALKS: season words / seasonal reference | a saturday gathering_under the banyan tree


host: Lev Hart

8th June 2024

haikaiTALKS: a saturday gathering_under the banyan tree


Classic haiku were written as if their poets sought to accomplish a goal expressed by the English poet, Willam Blake:


         To see a World in a Grain of Sand

         And a Heaven in a Wild Flower

         Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand

         And Eternity in an hour.


In Keiko Izawa’s verse last week, we saw the spring moon in “mother darning a sock / by the window.” This week, in Lorraine Haig’s haiku, we see the heat in a  postapocalyptic hellscape.


          midday heat ...           horizon to horizon

          the iron ore train


          Lorraine Haig, (HAIKUsutradhar, Jan 06, 2023; published in Echidna Tracks, Issue 11)


 We can assume that the season is Summer since L1 combines two Summer kigo, “heat” and “midday sun.” The haiku occurs at the hottest time of day and the hottest time of the year. The essence of the season --- heat --- has been distilled into a visual image, “horizon to horizon / the iron ore train.” The heat, as well as the fact that the poet can see from “horizon to horizon,” suggests that she is watching a train roll across the desert. In both Keiko’s verse and Lorraine’s, the unity of the season with the moment evokes depth, awe, the sublime --- yugen. The unity also creates sabi. The season, the train, the environmental apocalypse --- all shall pass. Lorraine’s train, for all its heaviness, is as ephemeral as Keiko’s mother, darning in the moonlight.


This week, we see again that seasonal references deepen haiku. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write two haiku, using summer kigo. Use the kigo to represent the season and add a phrase that shows us the moment, as Keiko shows us the spring moon in her mother by the window, or as Lorraine shows us summer heat in an endless train. Both of these saijiki are user-friendly:


The 500 Essential Japanese Season Words:


indian subcontinent SAIJIKI:



Your host for haikaiTALKS Lev Hart


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Thank you for doing this for us, Lev. Members,

Please give your feedback on others' commentary and poems too. _()_

This is an exciting phase for haikaiTALKS! Have fun! Keep writing and commenting! _kala

678 views238 comments

238 comentários


lev hart
lev hart
23 de jun.

Hello, everyone!


I've sent this week's haiku to the editors.

Curtir

Anju Kishore
Anju Kishore
21 de jun.

#2 Jun 21


scissor heat

a caw-caw-caw

cuts into the noon


Anju Kishore, India

(Feedback welcome)

Curtir

Anju Kishore
Anju Kishore
20 de jun.

#1 Jun 20


Rev 1 thanks Kala and Lev


season's end

our mango tree stands

alone


Anju Kishore, India

(Feedback welcome)


****


season's end

a sigh flies out

of our mango tree


Anju Kishore, India

(Feedback welcome)

Curtir
Anju Kishore
Anju Kishore
21 de jun.
Respondendo a

Yes that was not a haiku 😊

Curtir

2nd Revision: Thanks to Kala

20-06-2024


stillness sliced

a dotted tweet across

the blue sky


Padma Priya

India

*********


Revision: Thanks to Kala

20-06-2024


across the blue sky a dotted tweet slicing the stillness


Padma Priya

India

*****


This was posted by me in writeALONG dt 18-06-2024

I have edited the original version and tried to wrote a monoku for the first time.

I would very much appreciate feedback for the same.


self edit

20-06-2024


across the blue sky a dotted tweet slicing the stillness


Padma Prita

India


Feedback welcome

(Tried a monoku for the first time - hope it works)

*****


#!

18-06-2024


a dotted tweet

floats across the blue sky...

sliced stillness


Padma Priya

India

Curtir
Respondendo a

Thank you Kala. Rearranging of the lines pertaining to the original ku, and dropping few words makes it look more impressive here. I will take it. I thought something was missing in the original ku and tried a monoku.


Posted the revision.

Curtir

19th June 2024

#1 feedback welcome


midsummer darkness

the extended family regroups


Amoolya Kamalnath

India

Curtir
Respondendo a

After much thought, trying to see if the below would be better:


midsummer darkness

the extended f a m i l y regroups


Or:


midsummer darkness

the extended f a m i l y

regroups

Curtir
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