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haikaiTALKS: a saturday gathering! 1, 2, and 4-line haiku

haikaiTALKS: ONE, TWO and FOUR-LINE HAIKU - a saturday gathering_under the banyan tree


host: Kala Ramesh

29 July 2023

This week shall we try one, two and four-line haiku? As a look back on the last two months!


For your own poems: Only TWO ku per week, per prompt, per poet.

First post: You'll search and find a one, two or four-line haiku, you like.

You'll give your reason/s why you like it. Second post: This will be your first ku.


Third post: This will be your second ku.

Please give your feedback on others' commentary and poems too. _()_

Have fun! Keep writing and commenting!

333 views93 comments

93 komentarai


Alan Summers
Alan Summers
2023-08-04

Third post:


My second unpublished ku:


the chaffinch's

rain-song

how many notes

in a storm


Alan Summers


Season: Spring to Summer

Bird: Chaffinch (Fringilla coelebs)

Patinka

flooded field—

the aqua blue paint

on the rusty wheel

of a sluice gate


Patinka
Alan Summers
Alan Summers
2023-08-04
Atsakymas:

It has a bit of William Carlos Williams in this!


e.g.


so much depends


with the aqua blue paint


on the rusty wheel

of a sluice gate


I just felt flooded field needn't be present as there's sluice gate?


The Red Wheelbarrow


so much depends

upon


a red wheel

barrow


glazed with rain

water


beside the white

chickens.


William Carlos Williams

XXII

Spring and All (1923)


Patinka

mona bedi
mona bedi
2023-08-03

Post #3


sugarcane field

the e v e r lasting

sweetness

of our first kiss


Feedback appreciated:)

Patinka

Kala Ramesh
Kala Ramesh
2023-08-03

#3


a wren hops to the beat of its pulsing chest tweet tweet


Feedback please. _()_

Patinka
Atsakymas:

Kala,

a wren hops to the beat of its pulsing chest tweet tweets


the rhythm of the first line syncs perfectly with the words. I stumble on L2. Perhaps reverse them?

tweets

a wren hops to the beat of its pulsing chest

Patinka

sprig of mint—

the cold sweat

on a tumbler

of iced tea

Patinka
Atsakymas:

captures summer! good euphony with "t"s.

Patinka
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