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writeALONG! 28 February

Writer's picture: Muskaan AhujaMuskaan Ahuja

A TUESDAY FEATURE

host: Muskaan Ahuja

guest editor: Susan Beth Furst


IT'S IN THE CAN


“In the beginning it was all black and white.”


--- Maureen O’Hara


Maureen O’Hara was talking about the movies, motion pictures, which were originally filmed in black and white. When I edit my haiku, I go back to the beginning. What was my first thought? What was I trying to capture? Did I accomplish my goal? Sometimes, the answer is no. Sometimes, I end up with a bonus poem!



French film

we speak

in black and white



The word speak is almost expected as one might speak French. But I wanted a bit more, so I put my thinking cap on and…



French film

we kiss

in black and white


--- Susan Beth Furst



Have you ever written a poem and ended up with a “bonus poem” after editing?

Can you give an example?

Post them in the comments below!



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33 Comments


Rose
Rose
Mar 05, 2023

after he left

a monochrome on screen

moving life.


#feedback is much appreciated....

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Muskaan Ahuja
Muskaan Ahuja
Mar 06, 2023
Replying to

L3 is too abstract for me, Rose. Try to come up with something more concrete.

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lakshmi iyer
lakshmi iyer
Mar 03, 2023

#2

.

silent movie

her cries flow

in tears

.

does this work?

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Muskaan Ahuja
Muskaan Ahuja
Mar 04, 2023
Replying to

How about writing something else as L1 and then…


L1 the silent fall

of her tears

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Richa Sharma
Richa Sharma
Mar 01, 2023

Beautiful post.

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Kala Ramesh
Kala Ramesh
Mar 01, 2023
Replying to

Thank you, Richa. Nice to see you here :))

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Muskaan Ahuja
Muskaan Ahuja
Mar 01, 2023

Susan,


You didn’t fail to get the poets’ attention every Tuesday. There was always something that touched a chord in us. Absolutely enjoyed your write-up and the poems— they were quite different and yet easy to attempt.


Thankyou once again for being a great companion this month!


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Susan Beth Furst
Susan Beth Furst
Mar 08, 2023
Replying to

Thank you Kala, it was an honor.

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lakshmi iyer
lakshmi iyer
Mar 01, 2023

#1

.

Holi

the silent colours

in black and white film

.

feedback welcome

( Holi is a festival of colours in spring)

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lakshmi iyer
lakshmi iyer
Mar 03, 2023
Replying to

Yes, thanks.

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