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writeALONG! 19 September

A TUESDAY FEATURE

hosts: Muskaan Ahuja, Lakshmi Iyer

guest editor: Vandana Parashar


Please note:


Only the unpublished poems (that are never published on any social media platform/journals/anthologies) posted here for each prompt will be considered for Triveni Haikai India's monthly journal -- haikuKATHA, each month.


Poets are requested to post poems that adhere to the prompts/exercises given.


Only 1 poem to be posted in 24 hours. Total 2 poems per poet are allowed each week (numbered 1,2). So, revise your poems till 'words obey your call'.


If a poet wants feedback, then the poet must mention 'feedback welcome' below each poem that is being posted.


Responses are usually a mixture of grain and chaff. The poet has to be discerning about what to take for the final version of the poem or the unedited version will be picked up for the journal.


The final version should be on top of the original version for selection.


Poetry is a serious business. Give you best attempt to feature in haikuKATHA !!


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We, humans, tend to look for music and rhythm in everything around us. Whether it’s the rhythm of the rain or the thumping heart of our loved one, whether it’s a birdsong or a hit number by our favourite singer, the music is therapeutic and reassuring. But, it's always said that rhyming should be avoided in haiku.


Should it always be the case or can sometimes an unintentional rhyming take the haiku to a new height?


Take Edward’s ku as an example and try to write haiku with an inherent rhythm and see how your heart dances to that.



rain on dew

the you

in your daughter’s eulogy


--- Edward Cody Huddleston


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29 Comments


Keith Evetts
Keith Evetts
Sep 24, 2023

Rhyme has a place, it occurs naturally in Japanese endings anyway, it may be unfashionable in the free verse poetry establishment, but it can add musicalty and help to tie words and meanings together. I think it's counter-productive to exclude it altogether. It's part of "euphony" which seems to be a more palatable term. Basho advised refining haiku 'a thousand times upon the lips.'


A few examples where conscious rhyme is effectively employed (see the romaji):


samukaro, kayukaro, hito ni aitakaro

(You must be cold, you must be itching and you must be wanting to see other human beings. Shiki)


misoka tsuki nashi / chitose no sugi o / daku arashi (7 -7 -5)

(last night of the month, no…


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Keith Evetts
Keith Evetts
Sep 24, 2023

#1 24 September comments welcome


entropic doom my son's untidy room


Keith Evetts

UK

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lakshmi iyer
lakshmi iyer
Sep 21, 2023

#2, 21/9


after the rains

gurgle of frogs

in the giggles of kids


Lakshmi Iyer, India


feedback please

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lev hart
lev hart
Sep 21, 2023

Second poem:


cemetery

people

becoming

cherry

blossoms


Lev Hart

Calgary, Canada


["cherry blossoms" is a spring kigo. feedback welcome.]

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mona bedi
mona bedi
Sep 20, 2023

Post #1

20.9.23


autumn breeze

the p i a n i s s i m o

of falling leaves


Mona Bedi

India


Feedback appreciated:(

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