*** Q #23 ***
haikaiTALKS Q #23: a saturday gathering_under the banyan tree
host: Kala Ramesh
Hearty Congratulations, to Suraja Menon Rowchoudhury!
Alan has picked Suraja’s answer as the best reply to his Q! Alan says: Suraja, your ‘Scorpio wind’ kigo and ku were also very powerful. I think the kigo would work both as ‘Scorpio wind’ and ‘stinging winds’/ ‘maddening winds’. A powerful response and a really clever use of ‘palm’. I’d possibly lose the word ‘coconut’ in order to amplify the double meaning of the word. the night stung
by countless coconut palms
It’s a REALLY tough decision but I’d like to choose Suraja’s response as this week’s winner and hand the baton over to you for the next question. (I’d love to read a ‘stinging winds’ ku by you too!) I picked yours because the kigo was such a universal one. Wherever we are in the world we can all relate to it. Your accompanying haiku was also very well rendered.
To follow more of last week’s Q, here’s the link:
Over to the Suraja:
Most haiku are written with wonderful imagery such that the reader can reflect on the situations and circumstances surrounding those images.
However a powerfully unexpected technique is to try and write a haiku that shifts from an image to sensing, particularly smell and taste.
This shift from image(s) to senses then provides a moment that awakens you, as a keen observer, poet and reader.
Here is an example of each technique.
a man enters
the room, disturbing the scent
Yoshino Yoshiko (1915 - ...) tr Makoto Ueda
the bitterness of pickles
in the talk
Basho, tr Jane Reichhold
Here is an attempt of mine (unpublished- feel free to critique)
the ragged fragments
of a rose's scent
I would love to read your haiku using this technique of shifting senses!
Suraja Roychowdhury *** Trivenians are given time until midnight of 30th March (IST) to share your views and reviews! Waiting to read your responses!
your host, _kala