haikaiTALKS: haiku and more! a saturday gathering_under the banyan tree
host: Kala Ramesh
20th May, 2023
I have a new request and a suggestion to make.
For this week also we will be taking zip haiku for study. Sample poems are given. Read and internalise them. Then tell your readers how you understood them.
For your own poems: Only two or three zip haiku per week, per prompt, per poet.
First post: When you post, you'll make your first post as a comment on John Carley's zip haiku, which is posted as an example.
You'll give your reason/s why you like it or why you don't like it. Whether you understand it or not. Second post: This will be your zip.
Third post: this will be your 2nd zip. Fourth post: this will be your 3rd zip! Please give your feedback on others' commentary and poems too.
_()_
For better interaction, please stagger your posts. Only one poem can be posted per day (in 24 hours) in all our forums.
For those who have just come in - please read about ZIP HAIKU in last week's post: HERE
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The zip is untitled. It comprises 15 syllables over two lines. Each line has a pause indicated by a triple space (caesura). Look at the examples given.
When I went searching for more zip haiku.
I found two examples in 6 + 9 or 9+ 6
!!!
Sample zip:
black beneath this puddle
even darker down the polar night
— John Carley
(Haiku 21, Modern Haiku Press 2011)
by the time I reach the gate post another leaf has fallen — John Carley 2011
my breath distends the night's meniscus
no thought breaks the surface
—John E. Carley 1999
Enjoy!
I just found this and wanted to comment on how much I like John Carley’s work.
Notice Board:
Let's take a few weeks off. If you have any suggestions for this space, let me know. _()_
my breath distends the night's meniscus
no thought breaks the surface
—John E. Carley 1999 Perhaps because I live near water, I immediately thought of the moon's reflection on water. "Breath" or wind plays an important role as to the appearance of the reflection. No wind produces an unbroken image but a strong breeze can break the surface and distort the reflection.
Why has this place become so quiet? Please give your feedback freely.
#1
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bare feet on the wet sand beach
the waves tumble dry my footprint
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Feedback please