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haikaiTALKS: a saturday gathering! ZIP HAIKU!

Updated: May 20, 2023

haikaiTALKS: haiku and more! a saturday gathering_under the banyan tree


host: Kala Ramesh

20th May, 2023

I have a new request and a suggestion to make.


For this week also we will be taking zip haiku for study. Sample poems are given. Read and internalise them. Then tell your readers how you understood them.

For your own poems: Only two or three zip haiku per week, per prompt, per poet.


First post: When you post, you'll make your first post as a comment on John Carley's zip haiku, which is posted as an example.


You'll give your reason/s why you like it or why you don't like it. Whether you understand it or not. Second post: This will be your zip.


Third post: this will be your 2nd zip. Fourth post: this will be your 3rd zip! Please give your feedback on others' commentary and poems too.

_()_

For better interaction, please stagger your posts. Only one poem can be posted per day (in 24 hours) in all our forums.

For those who have just come in - please read about ZIP HAIKU in last week's post: HERE


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The zip is untitled. It comprises 15 syllables over two lines. Each line has a pause indicated by a triple space (caesura). Look at the examples given.

When I went searching for more zip haiku.

I found two examples in 6 + 9 or 9+ 6 !!!

Sample zip:


black beneath this puddle

even darker down the polar night

— John Carley

(Haiku 21, Modern Haiku Press 2011)




by the time I reach the gate post another leaf has fallen — John Carley 2011





my breath distends the night's meniscus

no thought breaks the surface


—John E. Carley 1999

Enjoy!

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68 commentaires


Pris  Campbell
Pris Campbell
13 juin 2023

I just found this and wanted to comment on how much I like John Carley’s work.

J'aime

Kala Ramesh
Kala Ramesh
26 mai 2023

Notice Board:


Let's take a few weeks off. If you have any suggestions for this space, let me know. _()_

J'aime
lakshmi iyer
lakshmi iyer
28 mai 2023
En réponse à

okay, Kala.

Thank you so much. It was an amazing learning.

J'aime

marilyn ashbaugh
marilyn ashbaugh
25 mai 2023

my breath distends the night's meniscus


no thought breaks the surface


—John E. Carley 1999 Perhaps because I live near water, I immediately thought of the moon's reflection on water. "Breath" or wind plays an important role as to the appearance of the reflection. No wind produces an unbroken image but a strong breeze can break the surface and distort the reflection.

J'aime
marilyn ashbaugh
marilyn ashbaugh
26 mai 2023
En réponse à

thank you, Kala.

J'aime

Kala Ramesh
Kala Ramesh
25 mai 2023

Why has this place become so quiet? Please give your feedback freely.

J'aime
Kala Ramesh
Kala Ramesh
26 mai 2023
En réponse à

Wishing you all the very best.

J'aime

lakshmi iyer
lakshmi iyer
22 mai 2023

#1

.

bare feet on the wet sand beach

the waves tumble dry my footprint

.

Feedback please

J'aime
En réponse à

coming late to replying on this, but I agree that it’s a very well formed zip— with, to paraphrase JEC in his letter to Kala, some beautiful resonance across the parts.

J'aime
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