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haikaiTALKS: a saturday gathering! TWO-LINE haiku

haikaiTALKS: ONE-LINE HAIKU - a saturday gathering_under the banyan tree


host: Kala Ramesh

24th June 2023


I have a new request and a suggestion to make.

Can you share a two-line ku that you've enjoyed & tell your readers why you liked it and how you understood it. For your own poems: Only THREE two-line ku per week, per prompt, per poet.

First post: You'll search and find a two-line haiku, you like.

You'll give your reason/s why you like it. Second post: This will be your two-line ku.


Third post: This will be your second 2-line ku.

Fourth post: This will be your third 2-line ku.

Please give your feedback on others' commentary and poems too. _()_



Sample poems:

Within life and death

Snow falls ceaselessly


---- Santōka Taneda

Mountain Tasting, Translated by John Stevens Have fun! Keep writing and commenting!

411 views127 comments

127 Comments


into the summer wind

cycling club


into the cycling club

summer wind


(a bit of experiment)

#1



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Alan Summers
Alan Summers
Jun 30, 2023
Replying to

Linda's Prose:

"...all the colors of the Spandex, physically fit guys from the local Silicon Valley tech firms."


into the summer wind cycling club

all the colors of Spandex


into the cycling club summer wind

all the colors of Spandex


How strange that Dupont means a connection between the cyclists, you, and my brother-in-law, and a famous musician!!! 🎼


Alan



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marilyn ashbaugh
marilyn ashbaugh
Jun 28, 2023

#4 28/6/23 feedback welcome


deep sea dive

a new widow emerges

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marilyn ashbaugh
marilyn ashbaugh
Jun 29, 2023
Replying to

Kala, thank you!

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#4 28th


afternoon sun

a shadow of my younger self


Feedback welcome

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Replying to

😪

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Bonnie J Scherer
Bonnie J Scherer
Jun 27, 2023

Jun 27 #4 Feedback welcome


breaking through old growth pine

the quaver of morning sunrise


OR


high atop old growth pine

the quaver of morning sunrise


Bonnie J Scherer

unpublished

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Bonnie J Scherer
Bonnie J Scherer
Jun 29, 2023
Replying to

Thank you so much Alan. I appreciate how you lay out the thought process of transforming a poem from “crude“ beginnings to several revisions. I see several variations that may result from my initial attempt. I’m mulling them over. Your input on everyone’s poems in this thread has been great!

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Rupa Anand
Rupa Anand
Jun 27, 2023

# 4.

reason to hope

hatchlings scurry to meet the sea


Feedback ~ yes please

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Alan Summers
Alan Summers
Jun 28, 2023
Replying to

Ah, but we were not to know that. 😎


The olive ridley sea turtle (Lepidochelys olivacea), also known commonly as the Pacific ridley sea turtle, is a species of turtle in the family Cheloniidae.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olive_ridley_sea_turtle


re:

"...the Olive Ridleys off the coast of Orissa. And yes in 2004 I rescued 3 huge turtles in near Kovalam ~ bought them off the hustler - loaded them into the boot of an old Ambassador car & released them into the sea."


Now this is wonderful! That's a story and an actual one, which is lost with this:

"reason to hope

hatchlings scurry to meet the sea"


You could have a short haibun, or gembun etc... with this.


As a duostich?


hustled Olive…


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