haikaiTALKS: haiku and more! a saturday gathering_under the banyan tree
host: Kala Ramesh
6 May, 2023
I have a new request and a suggestion to make.
From now on - you will take a one-line ku and read and internalise it. Then tell your readers how you understood it. For your own poems: Only two one-line ku per week, per prompt, per poet.
First post: When you post, you'll make your first post as a comment on anyone one-line, which is posted as an example.
You'll give your reason/s why you like it or why you don't like it. Whether you understand it or not. Second post: This will be your one-line ku.
Third post: this will be your 2nd poem. Please give your feedback on others' commentary and poems too.
_()_ For better interaction, please stagger your posts. Only one haiku can be posted per day (in 24 hourse) in all our forums.
Sample poems:
deep autumn silence in the landline phone Srini S Bones journal for the short verse no. 24 October 2022
calmer under her sixty new pounds of medicine weight
Laurinda Lind Bones journal for the short verse no. 24 October 2022
night shore how search engines shape our world
Beate Conrad
Bones journal for the short verse no. 25 April 2023
Enjoy!
#3
bright with snow the boy’s room blinks stars
Alan Summers
Anyone who knows my work in some detail, including my piece A Boy Called Snow etc... will guess that the snow aspect of Winter is my favourite season!
#3 ~
May 11th
Final Edit: Thanks to Linda & Alan (thanks to everyone for bearing with this inane one-liner)
doom scrolling this lethargy
***
Revised: 11/05/23
too much scrolling=mental dead weight
***
Revised:
doom scrolling this lethargy a dead weight on the mind
***
Original May 9th
scrolling this heavy lethargy dead weight on my mind
feedback ~ yes
ku #2
random access memory always leads to you motherboard
[feedback always welcome]
Comment 2 deep autumn silence in the landline phone
I suspect that this was formulated in accordance with the slip-meaning technique as
deep autumn +
silence in the land +
[trick the reader]
landline phone
And as such, 'landline phone' is rather bathetic* for me, given the portentous (and mellifluous) beginning! So I read it as a humorous meaning in three parts...
deep autumn
silence in the land
— phone!
But that's just me.
* i.e. bathos
Post#1
the stranger I have become faceless dreams
Feedback appreciated:)